The chain reaction to improvement!

No human interaction is independent; generally, each action is the interaction of something that has happened before. Some people have the habit of not being neat and tidy. I know of a lady who never made her bed till she became a professional and started working independently, living on her own. She would make her bed and tidy up her room a bit whenever someone was going to drop in. Else things would be, helter-skelter! Somewhere within her, things were brewing up. She made her bed for four consecutive days, after waking up. Then on the fifth day, after making her bed, she picked up the clothes lying around and put them on the hangar or in the cupboard. Tiding up happened for a week, and then one day she got herself a basket to collect her laundry.

One thing led to another. The lady took the neatness drive to the kitchenette, washing her cups and dishes immediately after use. Once her mother came to visit her, without informing, on a Sunday morning. Our lady was fast asleep; she was happy to receive her mother. Her mother was pleasantly surprised to see everything spic and span. When her mother asked her about the change; the lady said, “The small act of making my bed made me realise the importance of not having clutter. But I always felt that doing so many chores was going to be tough; hence, I avoided doing even the basics. I know that I am a good professional, but now I feel that I am a good human being too!” One act of tidying up the bed led to another, like a Domino Effect. The result was being in a charming home was very pleasing and did not involve too much effort, as she had initially thought.

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Domino effect definition is – a cumulative effect produced when one event initiates a succession of similar events. Though this has nothing to do with the current subject, I will share with you the real meaning of the Domino effect. In the game of Cricket, a team is batting well, and they are almost cruising towards victory. A wicket falls against the run of the play, and suddenly the all remaining batsmen get out as if by Domino effect!

Getting into a habit of following routines leads to a domino effect. After I went into semi-retirement, my daily routine had changed. I had more time on hand. So, I added the activity of going to the gym and for a walk in my daily to-do list. While working, these activities were intermittent, but with time on hand, I set up my routine. As far as possible, I don’t change my timings. It took a couple of months, but then these small acts led to a domino effect, and my routine fell in place. I have also added reading activity as a regular activity besides blogging. For the Domino effect to succeed, consistency is very important. Yes, I have also added taking a nap, in my to-do list.emrgency1

Friends, don’t forget that the domino effect takes place in forming bad habits too! Social media is a prime example of how bad habits can also be a part of the Domino effect. Cell phones came in our lives; then came Facebook, followed by WhatsApp in our lives. Where are we today? People are already facing problems of addiction, depression, and what have you? How did it start? It probably started with being able to see emails on a cell phone; then FB and WA. From that small jump, we took the next jump in the precipice of social media. People got hooked and addicted to social media; this addiction may be worse than alcohol and cigarettes! At least people avoid smoking and alcohol consumption in front of elderly, but social media has almost become a socially accepted addiction.

As always, anything good needs a bit of discipline and adhering to specific steps, sequencing and rules. If these are not followed, success could be delayed. The important thing that can happen is that you will be able to analyse yourself, the reasons for failure. The reason may be that the step where you failed was too big a task. Break the task into easily doable steps, and you will succeed.

Start with something which you are most motivated to do. Start with something small and do it consistently. Initially, you may not feel that fall of a Domino! But it will fall. That fall may change your thinking, your way of doing things. But when the Domino falls, it will enthuse you to take up the next step.

Maintain the momentum and immediately move to the next task you are motivated to finish. Let the energy of completing one job, carry you directly into the subsequent behaviour. With each repetition, you will become more committed to your new self-image.

When in doubt, break things down into smaller chunks. As you try new habits, focus on keeping them smooth and manageable. The Domino Effect is about progress, not results. Maintain the momentum. Let the process repeat as one domino automatically knocks down the next.

Having good habits has many advantages. You get a good feeling because of the lack of clutter. I had attended one course of 5S, the Japanese techniques. The tutor asked a senior manager from a large company, “Where do you waste your time in office?” The manager gave a bit of thought and  said, “65% of our time is wasted in locating things.” The department obviously had bad habits, and the boss allowed the shoddy way of working. By not being into good habits, efficiency gets drastically reduced. Performance becomes poor. But such things cannot be changed overnight. A small beginning needs to made and then let the Domino effect take its own course.

Good habits are not for someone else, they are for your own good. You become a better person, you become an efficient individual. All these things are needed to improve your persona. Many times we don’t change because we do not allow the domino effect to take place. We try to reach Mount Everest without even trying to reach the top of your local hill. But to reach the top of a local hill, start with climbing four floors in your condo using a staircase!

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Alameda-Karve Nagar!

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I urge you, folks, to “see” this blog on a Laptop or a computer. There are photos and videos which will look better on a larger screen.

Alameda is a public promenade bordered with trees. The word has come from Spanish “álamo poplar”! Poplar is a tall fast-growing tree found on the northern part of the hemisphere, away from the equator. When we travel to foreign countries, we see many promenades with a lot of trees. Such trees are possible mainly in the areas where we have perennial rains. Discipline and culture are other sides that come into the picture.

My friend Vijay shared the word Alameda with me as he came across it for the first time. The word made me think of such areas in Pune. I live in Pune in an area called Karve Nagar. Pune does not have perennial rain, but it rains only during three or four months in monsoons. Still, we have many such roads with green trees bordering the streets. These are seen prominently in Karve Nagar, Pashan, Koregaon Park, Prabhat Road, Model Colony and camp areas of Pune, besides some other places.

How is this possible? I am sure that our ancestors and the current citizens do have the love for trees, though many trees have been taken down during the development of housing colonies. The riverfront demarcates Karve Nagar area on one side. In all other areas, there were vast guava orchards. Youngsters may not believe it, but this area was very green even in early ’70 s of the last century. Even today, though a lot of bungalows and buildings have been built, greenery is maintained, and it’s enjoyable to walk in this area.

 

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I am trying to share a few videos and photos of the Karve Nagar area with you. When I go for my walks, I get a feeling as if I know these guys, the trees. They sway with the breeze and are sometimes very still when there is no wind. Trees also love the first rains, like me. The way they shade their leaves every year and adorn the new ones is a treat to our eyes. They have something to offer all the times, provided we have time for them.

The colours, the smells, the rustle of leaves, swinging like crazy when it is windy!  Trees have many things to offer. Some provide shade; all provide oxygen. The fragrance from the flowers and fruits they offer is nature’s gift to us. Trees are the best silent and not so silent friends we can have. They keep creating music provided we have an ear to listen. It is scientifically proven that the growth of plants is helped by music!

 

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Trees teach us to be patient and keep on surging ahead in adversities. They are firmly grounded, literally! So they cannot walk away from what is hurting them, and cannot run away from problems. They keep on growing towards the Sunlight and keep on digging their roots into the earth looking for water.

Trees seem to be able to accomplish anything, such as being able to grow on the sides of cliffs with just a little bit of soil and a lot of determination. Best friends are determined to succeed themselves, but also demand more of you; they are just happy seeing you succeed as well.

Trees provide fresh air, and food humans need to survive. Best friends help us survive as well — they give us the love and support we need to keep going in the hard times (after a breakup).

Childhood isn’t complete without climbing trees, picking mangoes, and pretending to be monkeys swinging on low hanging branches. Like trees, no matter how old we get, we need the playmate that can help us forget about everything and live in the moment.

Trees are essential for our happiness and health, so we should give back what the trees need to thrive. Best friends need us just like we need them.

Trees provide shelter and protect us from the environment. Whether its providing shade from the sun or shelter from the rain, they will always be there. Best friends will fight to keep you safe even if it means clashing with you!

A good friend is someone that you can tell anything to and trust with your biggest secrets.

We know that trees won’t always be here if we don’t give back what we take away. Best friends don’t ask for much, but we care for them, so we give anyway.

A little bit of fertiliser and a whole lot of love goes a long way. Someone has come up with a beautiful idea. When we go out for a walk, we can take a bottle full of water to give water to a tree on the road. Government and other agencies can’t water all the trees.

Trees, just like people grow, change, and develop scars over time. Each tree is unique and requires a different environment to meet their full potential. Each tree is like a friend! My closest friend is Jaya! Plus I have Vijay, Sonya, Suya, Sharya, Nayan, Pradeep, Shashi, Ramya and many many more friends. We have Gul Mohar, Banyan, Laburnam, Mogra, Parijatak. As friends, the varieties of the trees, their way of loving humans are different! But the common thing between the trees and friends is that they are always there.

In our busy lives, we sometimes forget them both. We lived in Model Colony for 30 plus years. We had some coconut trees and a Gulmohar tree, along with many Ashoka trees in our condo. During that phase, I could not catch up with both friends and trees due to the so-called busy lives! But Lo! They both are still around looking wiser, mature and some older. When I went down the memory lane and became misty-eyed when I remembered that one of the coconut trees had to be chopped down; I lost my dear friend Dileep during this period! But that is life!

I am a bit of show off today! After my chat with Vijay, I took some videos and photos of Alameda in Karve Nagar. I hope you enjoy them. Please pardon me that I could not avoid the vehicle passage in the videos! And some people too are seen!

The first one is the beginning of a beautiful street.

https://youtu.be/xQw5hVmaXXc

The second one is taken in the middle of the same road.

https://youtu.be/itDHZAbN7pA

The last one is at the end of the same route. Look at the number of trees and the greenery in general. Let me tell you that there are business centres and apartment complexes in this area.

https://youtu.be/HAQ7hpgzceU

The videos below are of another road.

https://youtu.be/h54TClNWTf4

Here I have tried to show that even the lanes joining the main roads are full of trees! In fact all the bylanes in this area also full of our green friends!

https://youtu.be/yHW0C3Lpkko

I have already written a couple of blogs about trees. Here is the link for these,  if you want to read them.

https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2018/05/09/flora-and-humans-in-karve-nagar/

One below was written in May 2014!

https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2014/11/05/parijatak-%e0%a4%89%e0%a4%b0%e0%a5%8d%e0%a4%ab-nyctanthes-arbor-tristis/

Who said all is not well with this world?

Tango- the Elections!

My friends Nandu suggested I share my views about the Indian elections with others. I am allergic to politics, though I have voted in every election since I became eligible to vote. Maybe I am allergic to politicians! I don’t know; I am confused. Democracy is a necessity of our lives like Roti, Kapda and Makan (Now the latest additions to the need are cell phone and internet!), i.e. Food, Clothing and Home! (For my non-Indian friends!)

Why did I give the title, Tango – the Elections! Meaning of Tango is a ballroom dance originating in Buenos Aires, characterised by marked rhythms and postures and abrupt pauses. In a democracy we expect the ruling and opposition parties to perform the Tango, sharing their views of how to run the country; but our politicians have gone for the last part of the definition, “abrupt pauses”. They take abrupt pauses, change directions, from gentlemanly behaviour switch to use of nonsensical use of language. The attacks this time have become personal, and it appears that there is no end to it! Bad words are used against very senior leaders, Chief Ministers and Prime Ministers. What direction are we taking? There was a verbal diatribe on a lady candidate, below the belt, literally! No pun intended!

When I was in school, India had become independent, and people were thrilled to be allowed to vote. Democracy continues very successfully. (Except for a hitch in 1975) India has adopted electronic voting ahead of all the countries in a big way. We don’t use ballot papers.

I read a story told by Chidanand Rajghatta, TOI US correspondent. He was called in a University to speak about modern election systems in India. At the end of his speech, he was asked to advise the Americans. He said (tongue in cheek), “Outsource elections to India”! There were huge claps all around!

The voting method is where all confusion starts. When parties win elections using the current process, they are ok with the technique. But when they lose the elections, the same method is declared as the vilest system. It gets challenged in the Supreme Court- they have promptly thrown out the petition. Parties catch hold of some engineers who are supporters of that party. These engineers make a big drama of how hacking is simple etc. To overcome such issues, sometime back Election Commission declared a date on which all the parties could come together and prove to EC, how hacking could be done. Not even one political party registered for the event. We make millions of financial, purchasing transactions electronically. Passport system in India is entirely electronic. In India, Visa on arrival is given electronically. But our politicians periodically challenge the electronic process, as an election stunt!

Another issue that is seen this time is the defection from parties. It is on the rise and shows that people are only interested in standing for elections and not working for the party. The usual sprinkling of cine stars is there, and a retired cricketer has also joined the fray.

Another significant change, to worse, is attacking the independent institutions. Decisions given by Election Commission received comments that it is working for the ruling party. Similarly, Supreme Court judgments were twisted to make claims that suit the arguments of the parties. Supreme Court took these people to the task, is a different issue, but such twisted statements waste the time of the Supreme Court.

One state that has galloped ahead of others in “reforms” is West Bengal. Many summers ago, Gopal Krishna Gokhale had said, “What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow.” Bengal is the land of Rabindra Nath Tagore, Swami Vivekanand,  Netaji Subhashchandra Bose; it is the Bhadralok (prosperous and educated people), Calcutta was India’s capital at the time of British in the initial phase. All industries started in Bengal first.

https://indiatoday.app.link/ylVjmRhPKW

The article in India Today tells us about the anarchy in Bengal. It is titled, “How to rig elections, Bengal style”! I will not go into details as the report covers what is happening today in Bengal during this election. It will suffice to say that the Election Commission acted “Suo Moto” or on its own and disallowed election campaign meetings on a day before the last day, to prevent further anarchy. The indication of such a situation was seen for many years. During the change of government last time, there were attacks and murder galore which continued all through. Shifting of Tata Nano factory to Gujarat was the clearcut signal to the powers that be! But they were too busy appeasing their electorate, and god knows who! I hope India does not start thinking like Bengal, in future!

Another first in this election is that none of the experts can predict anything. No waves are seen, no indication is seen from any patterns in voting. The voter is the ultimate God, who does not talk to anyone. As usual, the caste, religion equations are being discussed, but nobody can come to any conclusion. Most crucial conclusion every expert is saying is that an unstable government will bring chaos to India, but it appears that the opposition may not be able to form a stable government.

In large cities like Pune and Bangalore, voting % seems much lower than most other places. These two cities are cosmopolitan, and the migratory population is very high because of the easy availability of work. The community is young, and for both towns, the voting day created a long weekend. People went away on holiday. Plus transient nature did not allow people to change their voting location from their original city to the adopted city. Times of India has started a new slogan, “Let your vote travel with you”! In days of internet and computers, people should be able “to carry their vote” with them to where they are staying. Technologically it is possible, but the Election Commission needs to change its laws and people should be educated to change their thinking. This change can be connected to something straightforward and doable. For example, if you file your IT reruns from a city A, this can be shared with the Election Commission to change your place of voting. It is just a way it can be done, but it is doable.

What can be done about the criminal records of candidates? Our laws need to tighten further. Another observation is that many candidates become very rich in between two elections. Most of these people never go to the office like you and me; they are not known to have businesses, but where does the wealth come from?

I have discussed mainly systems in Indian elections. One more thing that needs to be tackled is why not hold national as well as state elections at the same time. It will save a lot of costs. Last national election cost Rs.3800/ crores i.e. US $ 0.5/ billion, in 2014! We can assume a 20% increase in five years. If both elections are held together, there will be substantial cost savings. But somehow many political parties are against this. Probably this the cost of democracy!

All said and done, warts and all, we all should be proud of the democratic process India is following. Voting this time is done in seven rounds; these many rounds are needed to manage logistics! After all, we have states like Bengal leading the nation!

Desire and Deserve Dilemma!

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Where one is born is not in your hands! How would one define “where” in this sentence? Where means which country, which family, which race and maybe which species! My knowledge about the other species is limited; humans are supposedly most intelligent of all species. So it will be a good idea to write about us. Ok! What is this about Desire and Deserve ( I will write this as D & D)? I had the usual banter with a friend Shekhar in the gym; talk meandered towards my blogging. He felt that Desire and Deserve are two words that are being discussed amongst his friends who have retired or who are on the verge of retirement.

We always read that if there is an intense desire, a human can achieve anything. There is a lot of talk about the American dream where people travel/migrate to the US for education or a job or as refugees. They are supposedly in a melting pot, and that is where the rags to riches stories are born! All the achievements and success are the results of intense desire, especially in the case of the immigrant population all over the world. When you migrate to an unknown territory, you are looking to settle down quickly. The people who migrate are generally known for their strong desire to improve on what they are doing in life. They are looking for their El Dorado! So they work harder than others and perform at their peak!

At a young age, this is the way one should go ahead in life, but when you are on the verge of retiring, or you have just retired people get into introspection mode. They start wondering if their achievement is more than what they deserved or less than what they deserved. Is such introspection the right thing to do? Your golden period is about to start, instead of planning for it and starting to enjoy it, why ask such a question? Our life events, many a time, are decided by being at the right place at the right time. In our life, there are so many ifs and buts, till the last moment many things remain hanging for us.

I will share the story of a friend. He was with me in engineering college. He was a champion sportsman and was almost offered a job in a large organisation. He had the benefit of being smart and an outstanding sportsman; there were some vacancies based on achievements in sports. A senior person from that organisation was known to him and had told my friend to get ready to move to Mumbai; an inter-industry tournament was about to start. The appointment letter never came. My friend came to know later that the son of a General Manager from the organisation was hired instead. My friend did very well in his career elsewhere, anyway!

The proverb, “Slip between the cup and lip” comes into play here. The original form was “there’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip,” which was an English proverb. The underlying meaning is that even when things seem sure, something can go wrong. The adage should be the byline of our life. In life, our desire may be to marry the beauty queen from our class, but she ends up marrying someone else. You had admission in the best college abroad, but at the last moment, there were problems in raising the money. In both these cases, probably you deserved to reach your goals, you also had a strong desire to achieve them. But this never happened. When you are younger, maybe you know that the world is your oyster. You can get more opportunities; perhaps you achieve much more than you desired. You may more successful than you ever deserved.

We have seen sports people who suffer in this struggle. Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli were both very good at their craft since childhood. They came to the test arena as expected. Initially, Kambli was considered better than Sachin. Both had a strong desire to succeed, and both of them deserved it. But the life’s dice played a trick on Kambli. Rest as they say is history! Is there any point in Kambli cribbing at this stage? Can there be any change in his situation?

D and D discussions start in our life right from when we are in the education phase. The debate continues through your career, marriage and life in general. How do we handle this? Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire in yourself. Give yourself peace of mind; you deserve to be happy and delighted. No point in getting over excited about desires and always worry about whether you are getting what you deserve. Achieving the “Deserve” target with a lot of stress and too much anxiety may not be pleasant as you may not be able to enjoy the fruits.

In life, we meet two types of people who worry and fear a lot. They are also always anxious. One who has built the desire, more than his needs; and another who has got more, than he deserves. Both of them will always keep on trying to do everything to retain their position. Do you want to be one of them? There is one more critical aspect of our desires.

The desires should always be definite. Desires should always be tangible. Otherwise, it leads to a situation where we are never happy. How can you achieve a desire to be very happy? I want to be excellent at what I do! How do you quantify excellence? At the same time, your wishes should always be positive and constructive. If you plan your success by trying to ensure that someone else suffers, it is a strict no, no! We also want to be good humans. We know that ill feelings are going to haunt us all the time. While pursuing your goals, always follow your heart but take your brain along!

D and D discussions have its place in our life, but it is not necessary to have such feelings when you are in the golden phase of life. By discussing this after your working phase is over, you only bring yourself the stress. You don’t deserve this anxiety; neither do you deserve this sadness. At this stage, we need to let go of things and consider that your professional side of life is done and dusted! You should enjoy the fruits of life’s hard work; your achievements may be less or more than you deserve. But can we change the situation? When we have no control over things, what is the point!

Friends, don’t go on a path where you don’t have a solution. But at this stage, why not start something new! Who knows? That might be your real calling, in the second innings!

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At the peak of happiness!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all? This sentence is from the Snow White fairy-tale. Her mother wants the mirror to reply. In the German language, the fair is interpreted clearly as “beauty”. But English interpretation is a little different. Fair in English is about the colour and complexion of the skin. Even in the white race, the “fair” or with the paler skin or blonde is considered more beautiful. But when we talk of the weather, fair means pleasant weather.

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Similarly, a question came to mind, who is the happiest of all? What is the meaning of happiness and what is our interpretation of happy? Happiness is a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. The same question can be asked to happiness mirror. Who is the happiest of all? The obvious answer is the babies. Their primary needs are food and sleep. If they get their feed, on time, they have the least of the worries in this world. They will go to sleep when they feel sleepy irrespective of what is happening around them. But then we don’t remain babies, all our life.

I get a feeling that the older people would be the happiest among all groups. I am sure that you have already thought that Pramod is getting older and senile. But look at the things from the view of old people. Old means old, I am young as I will complete 70 this year.

Thinking like an older person is thinking about resilience and focusing on “what is”, as opposed to “what is not” — accepting your mortality by not being so afraid of it. When you are older, you view the time horizons in front of you differently. You understand that the days are finite, and we might as well enjoy the ones we have left. The waking up in the morning and saying, “Thank God for another day” is an indication of accepting the truth. I had read a joke about old age. A person tells his friend, “Look, buddy, my doctor told me the other day to think positively. He said that if you wake up and find that you do not have a single aching part in your body, safely assume that you are dead. Don’t bother even to get up!”  That was the doctor’s way of telling us to accept the facts of life.

As we grow old, we tend to forget some things, but it is selective forgetfulness. I was treated for cancer from December 2013 to February 2014. I was required to take 34 Radiations along with Immunotherapy. These caused me body rash, cough and a lot of pain in the neck, no pun intended. I took a lot of pain killers in those days. But I don’t remember these things much; I only have a vague memory of the trauma I faced. Selective forgetfulness is the gift given to us by old age. A study says that we become forgetful, but we forget more adverse events from our life. The corollary to the phenomenon is that we become happier. We also learn over a period that bad things in life are not special treatment meted out only to us. Everybody goes through different situations. Knowing this does not reduce the effect such traumas have on us. But it reduces impact knowing that it is a common problem.

You come to understand that the quality of our lives isn’t based on the events of our lives. It’s in reaction to the events in our lives. That’s a useful thing, to realise “I don’t have control over some of the events in my life, like the weather, but I actively have a say in how I respond to the weather.”

Which is the relevant keyword in our thinking? Happiness or Choice, to me it’s “Choice.” It’s declaring that you won’t be defined or determined by the circumstances of your life. You have a say in this. That declaration is liberating. That liberation is happiness. Happiness isn’t just the thing you choose; it’s the act of choosing it that makes you happy.

There are various things that we can do to improve our thinking and quality of life. If someone has depression, it is a condition that needs to be treated and not something that will go away by thought. It also won’t ensure that you will have a better future. But positive thinking will make sure that you look at at your life in such a way, that at your current situation feels happier. We should focus on “what is” and not “what we don’t have”! The younger people always think oppositely, as they believe that life is infinite!

To understand happiness at a particular stage, a person needs to be of that age. We were all children at some stage; hence we know what makes children happy! But when younger people interact with older ones, they don’t understand the real needs of the old people. We say that this old man or a woman talks too much. The issue is that as you grow older, you get less and fewer opportunities to talk.

On top of that, one can have hearing issues. So, the conversation can become difficult. Very few younger people will understand these issues, but many times it is the younger ones who decide the needs of older people. At old age, if people develop the ability to accept life’s realities, life’s experience is much more enjoyable. These people don’t need to fight hard to achieve their targets, as their targets are always short term targets. They know their financial and physical limitations and need to accommodate within whatever they have!

Friends, people of my age group sometimes have family responsibilities. But the older group does not have any such issues. Try and make the lives of older people happier. On my way to the gym, I see an old man sitting in the home premises watching things. Once I went and chatted with him for 15 minutes. He did not want me to go. He is 95 years of age and had most of his faculties intact. Near my home, there is an old people’s home. Once early morning, I had gone out to take some photographs. A group of three old people was chatting outside the gate of the home. I stopped and had an interaction with them. I could get away only after an hour or so. All of them wanted to talk; it appeared that it was their primary need. They called another friend who came out, and also joined the chat. From their face, I could see that they enjoyed the conversation very much. I was only asking a few questions to take things forward.

I am confident that older people are the ones who are the happiest in their lives provided they get the right atmosphere and the proper support. Their needs are minimal; others need to find some time for them! Don’t forget that we are also going to reach that phase at some time, hopefully! So, it will be a good idea to propagate such a thought process in society! Let us make a beginning somewhere !

Impulsive and Compulsive!

Meaning of Impulsive is done without forethought and Compulsive means resulting from an irresistible urge. My friend Jayprakash and I were discussing the anatomy of my blog writing. He asked me a question what percentage of my blogs are written impulsively? On thinking, I felt that about 30% of my blogs are impulsive and others are compulsive. After writing 400 plus blogs, I think I always have an urge to write something. On average, each blog has about 1200 words. It means that I have managed to write 480 thousand words which have got converted into blogs. To write something readable, it takes a lot of efforts and research. Thanks to the internet it is quite easy to research, Jai Google baba!

When you finally read my blogs, hopefully, the blogs seem to be smooth reading material; I can rightly express the meaning that I want to say. Actual writing can take between 1 ½ to three hours. Exact time from start to finish generally varies, depending on other things that I do at home and work. Stuff I do includes watching cricket matches, chatting with friends, doing professional work.  Walks and the gym are also part of the schedule! Sometimes I get writer’s block, and some blogs remain incomplete for months and others for a week or so. A couple of days is the norm. But when I write the blogs impulsively, those are finished in an hour and a half flat.

When I get an impulse, the beginning, the middle and the end are right in front of my eyes. The classic case of impulsive writing is my blog, Brave Art! https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2018/06/08/brave-art/

The blog is about a young girl Manasi from Nashik, who decided to do nude paintings. It was a brave move for a young girl from a family like yours and mine. I had read her articles, about the tough path she has chosen, in a Marathi newspaper. I was trying to know about her through Sudhakar, my friend. He sent me a WA message giving details about her with her photograph; at that same moment, I was reading a beautiful poem where the poet was describing the lovely transition in a woman’s body as she was getting drenched in the rain. My blog was ready in an hour flat.

Let us look at one more blog. This blog to me is also impulsive.

https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/sorrrrry-but-what-about-my-ego/

It is an old blog written three years back. The incident I have shared was very awkward even to watch. The gentleman, who was my age, behaved very irrationally, and the young lady was grace personified. I was very much agitated after the incident. It is a smallish blog, and I finished it in half an hour! I had full clarity in my mind the moment I started writing.

One thing that hits all of us hard in the guts is the death of young people. Such deaths keep on haunting you all the time. For the families, these deaths lurk in the background all the time.

https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/coping-with-death/

I wrote this blog when I came to know about the death of young niece of a dear friend. She had no known health issues. A couple of weeks before, another friend lost his forty-year-old son. That the son had a heart condition does not give us any solace. While speaking with my friend about the niece’s death, he told me how the whole family was devastated. Even while writing these sentences, I feel emotionally drained. I cannot imagine how the families have handled the deaths. What I have written is not a blog; it is an outpouring from a distressed heart!

My blog written a few days ago is a classic case of compulsive writing. I have been thinking about the subject for some time. The theme is Adhyatma.

https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2019/05/08/adhyatma-why-it-is-beyond-me/

Usually, when I complete a blog, my mind is clear, and I get the satisfaction about writing on the chosen topic in the best possible manner within my limitations. But not this blog; even after completing this blog I am not too sure what I wanted to say. I am still not sure what is Adhyatma. I somehow get a feeling that Adhyatma is Mount Everest of the intellectual process. A friend Prakash was surprised that I ended up with a firm No, No! We had some exchange of notes on WhatsApp. When he suggested that I have also done reasonably well in life, I am still not convinced. What is the meaning of doing well? I am not talking about financial aspects.

The word transcendental is used in the discussions about Adhyatma. The Cambridge dictionary meaning of the word is: A transcendent experience, event, object, or idea is extremely special and unusual and cannot be understood in ordinary ways. Probably this is what I am trying to write and explain. How many people reach the pinnacle of what they are doing? How many of us reach a peak in life and continue doing it? I had given examples of Tendulkar, Ambani, Rahman and Bachchan. A sport’s person needs to retire due to physical limitations. But for others, I feel that there is no limit of age and they can pursue what they are doing till they are physically able to do it. Why should they give up on material things in life? What happens if they occasionally indulge with the money they have made?

Another friend Kishor suggested that I need to read Bhagwad Gita to understand the meaning of Adhaytma. I have read a couple of chapters but have not done a serious reading of Gita. I came to know that people learn Bhagwad Gita by heart. People are encouraged to do so. I met someone who took that path; I asked her what did she achieve? She was honest and said, “Nothing”!  To me, she had climbed a hillock when there was a tall mountain in front of her.

Adhyatma1

The saying depicted above is the most crucial part of Gita. It is implied that we get Adhikar to live in this world due to past karma from our previous lives. We start our life with a debt of our parents; every stage we go into, more debts of the other people and the society around us gets accumulated. As per the saying above we should keep on working without expecting any returns. You should earn your pay “package” on this earth to repay the debt. Repayment of debt is where I am still confused. Which debt should we repay? Societal obligation or family debt? The Adhikar or entitlement is given to us by HIM. Then we should repay His debt too! What is the meaning of repaying the debt? How do we repay His debt? How do we know that we have repaid it? Is this the meaning of renunciation?

At what stage do we start renunciation? At what stage should we go away from material stuff? Lord Krishna tells Arjuna to follow his dharma of a warrior and not bother about who his enemy is. Arjuna sees his family standing opposite him to fight a war. If fighting a battle with the family is correct dharma or walking away from such a situation the right dharma?

Prakash and Kishor, I have already mentioned that I am too ordinary a person to understand these lofty things. I tried to discuss things above my intellectual level and got more confused. At what stage do we want to start climbing the Mount Everest?  Are we equipped for it? At least I am not! Then which are the people who follow the path of Adhyatma? Honestly, I am personally ok with some indulgence. I would rather walk out than going to battle with family! This what I mean by back to square one! I love the fruits of my writing the blog, your love! Am I confused?

ConfusedFace

 

 

 

Time simply flies!

All of us are blessed with twenty-four hours a day. Some of us use the time efficiently, and others don’t, but some people say that time flies in their life and for some time just does not pass by. Why does it happen this way? I will share an example with you. The other day we went to a lunch party about twenty km from our home. We had never been to that hotel before, and maybe we took about thirty-five minutes to reach the place. While coming back, it took us thirty minutes. It was hardly five minutes less. But we felt as if we came back pretty quickly. It was because while going there we were looking for landmarks and junctions. We put on the GPS at the last moment when the crunch point came up for taking the final turn. We felt as if we needed much longer to reach the same distance. We were absorbing things; we were looking at new surroundings.

Our life is very similar. When we start feeling that there is nothing new in our lives, there is nothing to be absorbed; the time appears to fly. The phenomenon occurs to people when they get old and have nothing to look forward. Old age is one angle, but even when one is young, we look at life differently. I have always said in my different blogs that we should absorb what we are doing. We go for a walk in the morning and have earbuds with music flowing into our ears. Are you listening to music or are you enjoying the beauty of the early morning atmosphere? Today I went for a walk, and the weather was typical Pune summer beauty. Cool breeze, the fragrance of flowers and chirping of birds. I love music, but I give the music its own slot. I saw many Gulmohars and Bahawas in full bloom. In between, I thought of talking to Nikhil, my son in law who lives in Montreal. But the atmosphere sucked me in, and I forgot to talk to him. I spoke with him after reaching home.

When we were kids, probably we remember long summer holidays, when we would play different games. We had our trips by buses and trains to visit uncles and aunts. We felt in those days as if the time had stopped. Children’s world is so small that everything they see on the way to a new place, the journey itself, the place where you stay, is new. They take time to absorb all the things which they have never seen before.

The same thing happens to us. In the early eighties of the last century, I had travelled to Germany for the first time. It was winter and cold. I took a train at three pm from Frankfurt and fell asleep right away as I was tired after my international flight. I woke up suddenly and looked outside the window. All I could see was pure white ground. Though I knew that Germany has snowfall in winter, I had never seen one. I was fascinated by it and just kept on watching and watching. I felt as if I had spent a few hours watching the snow. Then I came back to reality. I was supposed to get down at a station at 6 pm. But all announcements were made in German which I did not know. Luckily there was a British army officer in the train who guided me to get down. But I had lost the sense of timing. Time moves at a slow pace when the surroundings keep us interested.

The same thing happens to us when we eat or drink something which we have never done before. If we gulp it, then we will never enjoy the different taste the stuff may have. Nursing a drink is the word which accurately explains the way we should be taking a drink. If you gulp a glass or two of wine, you will never enjoy it. If you are with your friends for a couple of hours nursing the food and drink, those two hours may seem to you like four hours.

There are so many examples in real life where we miss the point. When we take a shower why not enjoy the feel of the water falling on your body? Depending on what we like, biting cold shower will give a push to our mind and body to wake up. Steaming hot shower could release the stress, and the tiredness one may have. But most of the time, we go under the shower thinking about what want to do in that important meeting with customer or presentation you must give to your boss. You neither give justice to your thought process nor do you enjoy the physical pleasure of taking a bath.

Our sense of timing drastically changes, when we are under a traumatic situation or a psychedelic drug. The athletes use a term called going into the zone. When some athletes are performing at their peak, they operate as if they are in a different zone. Our time appears to slow down in these circumstances.

The same thing can happen when you attend a short course or a seminar on a new subject. The subject is new; the place is unique; the speaker and participants are all unknown to you. You are trying to understand the topic; you are getting to know the people; you have never visited that city before and are looking forward to it. Time moves very slowly in such circumstances.

As usual, I also want to see how this theory is applied to oldies like me and our ilk. When you are near seventy years of age, you are at a stage where the term “been there and done that” fits appropriately. Whatever we do, we get the feeling that we have done it before. Time passes fast because nothing new is happening. In comparison with the total time we have spent on the earth, any event takes only a small time. How to slow it down? You can never slow the time, but you can make us feel as if it has slowed down. Try to learn something new. Try and meet people you have not met. Attend your alumni meetings. Last Sunday, eighteen of us met for breakfast and spent an hour and a half together. All of us felt as if we had spent a few hours together. The whole gang went on a nostalgic trip. Friends were sharing stories and remembering the old anecdotes.

How was this achieved? It was done by living through our senses and our experience rather than through our minds. It’s a different approach to avoiding familiarity—and happens not by seeking new experiences, but by changing our attitude to our experiences. In our mind, we would say, “what is the big deal in meeting old friends?” But it is not the meeting but the atmosphere of camaraderie that is created that slows down the time.

Our journey by train or by bus is the same as our life. You ignore the things that you see through the window, the rivers, the mountains, the fields and the villages at your own peril. If you ignore these things, then there is nothing to see, nothing to look forward. The same thing happens in our life’s journey, and you may find it boring.

Here is a quick example of lengthening your time. On our balcony Mogra, 36 flowers bloomed today. In ten seconds, I could have seen the bloom and would have been done with it. But I took a photograph, I took a small video of the bush and the flowers swaying in the breeze. Jaya and I discussed the beauty and the fragrance of the flowers. We discussed whom should the flower Mala be given to! I counted the numbers, plucked the delicate flowers. Jaya created the Mala and wore it herself. I shared the photos and videos with a few and had a discussion on the subject. Ten seconds were lengthened to more than half an hour as we delved into the beauty provided by nature.

Start enjoying chores like keeping your garden clean and neat. And you’ll also discover that this open and alert attitude to your experiences has a time-expanding effect since mindfulness increases the amount of information we process. It spreads the same one hour into a more extended period. We should not treat time as an enemy in old age. Look at it as a gift which you never had before. Go into your zone like athletes and enjoy it. It is very easy to gulp your tea like you did in your younger age when you were short of time. Extend that time the way you want it and enjoy.