Que Sera Sera

Que Sera Sera is a fifties song by Jay Livingston & Ray Evans, sung by the actress Doris Day. A few lines from the song went as below.

Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future is not ours, to see,

Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be

In Hindi movies of old, there was an actor called Asit Sen. His famous by-line used to be जब जब जो जो होना है, तब तब सोसो होता हैं. It roughly got translated to Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be! When Nandu, my dear friend, recently wrote an e mail to me about health episode in his life, somehow these lines came to my mind. On one side, I was happy to see that my recent blog “Life’s Speed breakers” helped my friend Nandu to open out and talk about his health episode. On the other hand, I shuddered to think what would have happened if Nandu’s misjudgement had gone awfully wrong! He was really on thin Ice! Or was he humming Que Sera Sera!!

Nandu of ages back, from our Elphinstone days and Nandu of today are hardly different in their attitude. Ever smiling, articulate, smart, bubbling and what have you! Nandu is all that you can look for in a human being! As the life’s quirks go, we were not in touch for a long time. But last year when we spoke on phone, it was as if we were just continuing from our previous evening’s conversation. Nandu lives a retired life in Sydney where he made his career in a large MNC, in IT field. He has retired from his “work” life but he is a person who will never retire from life! His retirement will only be the Almighty’s call! On his last call also he might tell Him, “Boss, can you give me a few minutes, wanted to share something with Panya” (or any of his many friends!)

In my blog shttps://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2015/10/18/lifes-speedbreakers , I had shared with all how to handle life’s tough calls with speed, alacrity and positivity. Nandu’s episode, a major health issue, is typical “How not to handle tough episodes”!! He tried to avoid telling his family about his health condition, travelled during the episode, played various sports and tried to delay things as much as possible. Now why did Nandu do this? His only thoughts at that time were, his in-laws should not get unduly worried and his daughter Swati’s exams should not be disturbed! Or was it Que Sera Sera, whatever is going to happen, is going to happen anyway! Friends you will be surprised to read the chronology of Nandu’s health events, I was not only surprised but shocked. The moment his issue was known, there should have been a non bailable warrant to arrest my dear friend!

Here it goes!

  1. Nandu had chest pain while playing squash, he refused an ambulance (and the hospital) drove home
  2. He silenced his 13 year old son, who was with him, went home and went out again for cultural activity. (His son was smarter and took God’s promise from Nandu, of a Doctor’s visit the next day!)
  3. To keep his promise to his son, Nandu visited the doctor’s office on the way to work (It was not about Nandu’s health but was about the promise given to Sandeep!!) after giving blood went to office.
  4. His blood tests showed severe heart attack. (Of course our friend was busy in meetings)
    • The ever fit Nandu was playing
      • Cricket Match on Sunday
      • Badminton on Monday
      • Tennis Wednesday
      • Cricket practice on Saturday
      • Squash on Sunday
      • Was in meetings whole day on which heart attack was confirmed!
    • Both Physicians and Pathologists were Nandu’s friends; on confirmation they tried to locate our missing friend and left message at home that he should be tied to bed as soon as he comes home.
    • At 6 pm Nandu arrives home driving his car; Anand is already there to move him to hospital.
    • Of course Nandu refused to take Angiogram and waited for ten days more after a lot convincing by another friend Dr. Avi.
    • Results of course as expected
      • One artery 100% blocked & needed plumbing.
    • Now the beautiful part (Nandu how this world will run without you!!!)
      • Nandu was totally convinced that if he did not go to the office, the MNC will collapse immediately.
      • So he went to office and drove for his own angioplasty at noon!
      • Angioplasty was done the next day afternoon.
      • But in the evening, his artery in groin burst open and blood was spewing all over. Doctors struggled for about 15 minutes to control it and finally succeeded. Next morning, he was released and went home on his own (this was Friday). On Monday, he had a meeting with an important Client in Brisbane – where he went for the day & flew back in the evening.
      • See what I mean! The fear of MNC closing down made him do all this! He never wanted to do it! Nandu, am I right?
      • All this happened in 1992
  5. Circa 2001 Frame 2 same movie!
    • During this period his tennis and badminton was going on but now he started getting tired a lot! And lo! Nandu decided to go for stress test and angiogram immediately.
      • During Angiogram, on the table itself, the cardiologist told him that Nandu was in deep trouble and all three main arteries were 95+ % blocked. The Doctor was shocked to know how Nandu played badminton till the previous day.  Triple bypass was conducted the next day that was Nov 2001

Situations were serious both the times, but the first time was, to use very mild expression, Nandu took decisions on his own which I am sure he will never do again and he is not proud of. Second time he was a little wiser and I am sure his family and friends, his eco system had taken away decision making authority away from Nandu!

In such situations the question that always comes to my mind is why?  Why? And Why? Naturally Nandu also does not have an easy explanation about why he took such decisions. His thoughts that he did not want his In-laws to get anxious & protect his daughter from stress during her exam time, were not a very convincing answers. Nandu, how did you not think about the plight of your wife Anuradha!

Why a smart, articulate person like Nandu did take such decisions? Need of the hour was to act fast and he had a terrific eco system of his family, friends like Anand, Dr. Avi and best of the infrastructure available. Why does the mind waiver? Did Nandu at that point, not think of what could have happened in the worst case scenario? When I discussed with him recently, he said that he was never worried about his own death but was definitely worried how his family will suffer in such an event! Does it mean we that humans are fallible and take decisions like we have never taken before or maybe we will never take in future?  Every professional always decides anything, taking pros and cons of the situation into consideration. First time around there were not many pros, in hiding the event. But Nandu did hide.

A thought just came my mind, do accidents happen this way? Does the mind waiver a bit at the last moment? Is it a momentary lapse? That split second waiver or lapse can cause serious damage!

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=volkswagen+car+advertisement+about+not+using+sms+while+driving&FORM=VIRE8#view=detail&mid=6055583738A74B00C5DE6055583738A74B00C5DE

This video gives the result of split second lapse caused by 0ur wavering mind! Nandu my friend, your catch was dropped by the destiny and you were lucky! I know, now you are doing justice to the second opportunity you got! Thanks for sharing your experience openly so that others will learn from it, hopefully!!

(if the video does not work by clicking, please copy and paste it in your browser)

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About panvalkarpramod

I am an engineer by training and run my own business. I like to blog but do not yet get enough time.
This entry was posted in Stunning and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Que Sera Sera

  1. Shashikant Inamdar says:

    Pramod,
    Your blog was successful in bringing the wake up call to the attention of the busy people. They were proud of their being indispensable and probably had the misplaced confidence in their body matching their enthusiasm in meeting their professional commitment. I do not know so much about the persuasion or pressure Nandu’s family exercised on him attending to his health issue, except the reference of Nandu’s 13 year old son taking a promise to visit the doctor in first case. Sometimes even the family is proud of the bread earner being so busy and his coming late from office. You need some one who can be an authority at home, be it spouse or child or mother to put foot down and force a person like Nandu to act on the health call without delay. Such a nagging would be necessary even if resented by people of Nandu’s attitude to take things of their own health so casually. After all you are every thing for your close family.
    Shashi Inamdar

    • Shashi, I read comments. When I discussed with Nandu it was not the case of Corporate invisibility! In fact far from it, he was worried that he may die. But he now knows his thoughts at that time of saving in-laws and his daughter from anxiety were contrary to what he should have done. If he were not so lucky to survive, then what could have happened is something that he shudders about! He let me use his name in the blog but is not brave enough to share it with all, yet!

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