The Other Side of EGO!

My last two blogs recently were about EGO. Some people wrote to me that there is other side to these incidents too! So I am attempting to cover the other side in this blog. With this blog I am completing the Hat trick of Ego blogs!

The first incident was about incorrect parking done by the young lady. Given below is the link.

My friend Anil commented on the blog, writing about his frustrations due to the similar problem he has faced for last 25 years, due to unreasonable people like our lady parking incorrectly! Near Anil’s home there is a similar situation and a garden. Anil has given up long back; people simply park in front of his gate and he cannot get his car inside. The solution he found is to come home late in the evening so that he can take his car in his house! Now the fall back of this action, may be having repercussions on the home front. (I must check with Anil) But that is a subject for another blog!  This is a major problem that we have in our society. People are simply self-centered and don’t care about others. If the lady had parked correctly I could not have written the “Sorrrry” blog! When every day a different person creates the same issue for others, it is impossible to prevent outburst by someone at some stage. I have full sympathy for the old man I covered in my blog, and that he lost his temper on that day is quite possible though not 100% justifiable!

Why people do such acts? Concern or courtesy about others should be a reflex action! It should be part of our upbringing. What is the big deal in doing something to ensure that others are not troubled in public domain? When we live in society, it should be a natural act to show empathy to others.

I will give a few observations that shows how we Indians handle our acts in public places. Consider any inquiry window and a queue (you should be happy if there is a queue), it could be small or big. But there will always be someone who will try to jump the queue and go directly to the window! When challenged, that person would claim that he/she has “only two minute work”! We can conclude that “my” two minutes are more important than your two minutes!

I was so shamed at Frankfurt airport recently. Our flight to Mumbai was announced and I was wondering why row wise entry was not announced. The flight was full and probably had 90% Indians. The moment the flight was announced, pushing & jostling, elbowing started as if there is no tomorrow. Mind you there were 5/6 passengers who needed wheel chairs. But the crowd was not bothered! Airline officials had to make a special path to try and make sure that assisted passengers got in first. I think Lufthansa has given up row wise entry for India flights! I have seen on internal flights recently, assisted passengers are helped ONLY after all others get down. It’s a real shame.

I was in Melbourne for 2015 world cup cricket final. At the stadium there were 8 or 10 gates for the entry. Each entry was bar code scanned at the turnstile. There was crowd but not an instance of pushing and jostling. Let me remind you that there were 93000 plus spectators on that day, making it an average of 10K per gate. After the match we came back by public transport, again there was rush but no pushing & jostling!

Why is that we behave differently in public domain? Is it because of shortages of everything in 60’s caused this mind set in Indians? This mind set causes us to take short cut at every activity in life. The young lady in this mind set must have said I am just parking for two minutes! Amen!

My take on “Sorrrrrry” blog, after considering both sides Old Man: Lady , is still 50:50!

Next one is about the most recent blog for which the link is given below.

Our lawyer father was a famous and prominent person in the society.  Naturally I am sure many people from the society must be taking his advice and suggestions from him on many matters in life. Now our hero is taking an important decision in his life about his marriage. How could the hero ignore the father’s advice? The father had so much experience in the ways of the world , he must have judged that something was not right in the match. With this experience and knowledge he must have told his son not to get married to the girl. I am sure only thing behind this suggestion was the thought about well-being and love for his son. The father must have brought up his son in such a way that the son would follow the father’s advice to last T. But alas in Love things don’t follow the charted path. Son rebelled and rest as they say is history!

Initial court case etc may also be justifiable considering the “insult”.  But once a lot of water had gone down the bridge, I feel that the father should have relented. It is not for the want of trying. I checked up with our Hero and he had attempted many times. With the birth of the grand-child I felt that things should have normalized but it has not happened.

Probably my take of, the Ego is coming in the way, appears to be validated. Friends do you have any thoughts and suggestions why this could have happened. Why could father not take a “step backwards” after so many years? The son could not take the step back as he was happily married. What is the justification for such behaviour? This behaviour runs parallel to the behaviour of the old man in the first blog! Even in the first blog old man’s losing control was not fully justified though we have given him some leeway. But in the current case the behavior of the father, I still feel can not be justified. My take on Father:Son is 30:70 . Any takers on the ratios 50:50 & 30:70?

2 thoughts on “The Other Side of EGO!

  1. Other side of Sorry!
    A few factors:
    We Indians in general are never taught civic sense and etiquette in School – during our formative years. We are never taught :
    1) Saying Sorry, 2) Saying Please, 3)Saying Thanks, 4) Giving Way
    And when we grow up and manage to get a Driving Licence, we simply don’t care about Traffic Discipline and Etiquette.
    The only thing we learn is that Elders & Gurus are always right which is a good trait but in the process our Elders – Parents – Gurus come to believe that they are always Right! This perhaps also is the Reason for that “Father” & “Elder person ” to belive that they only are right!

  2. Panya, I think there appears to be a uniformity of experiences at Frankfurt ap. Couple of years back I had same experience.I flew in from Denver and was to catch my next connecting flt to BOM. Yes. You can guess the same experience. We need not not check the gate for flt to BOM. The gate where there was no q was for our flt.There was so much chaos everybody wanted to board the flt first. there was a feeling of already reaching BOM.

    I thought this was special case of Frankfurt. But this is common for all flt leading to our own India. Few months back I was flying back to India on Swissair from Zurich. Exactly the same experience. Is there a way we can change?

    You had mentioned about q. I have seen in the US and rather surprised to see when there is a q the next person will stand at least three feet behind you. Nobody will even dare to what happens here if I may tries to jump on you.

    I think we have to go a long way


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