Meaning of Impulsive is done without forethought and Compulsive means resulting from an irresistible urge. My friend Jayprakash and I were discussing the anatomy of my blog writing. He asked me a question what percentage of my blogs are written impulsively? On thinking, I felt that about 30% of my blogs are impulsive and others are compulsive. After writing 400 plus blogs, I think I always have an urge to write something. On average, each blog has about 1200 words. It means that I have managed to write 480 thousand words which have got converted into blogs. To write something readable, it takes a lot of efforts and research. Thanks to the internet it is quite easy to research, Jai Google baba!
When you finally read my blogs, hopefully, the blogs seem to be smooth reading material; I can rightly express the meaning that I want to say. Actual writing can take between 1 ½ to three hours. Exact time from start to finish generally varies, depending on other things that I do at home and work. Stuff I do includes watching cricket matches, chatting with friends, doing professional work. Walks and the gym are also part of the schedule! Sometimes I get writer’s block, and some blogs remain incomplete for months and others for a week or so. A couple of days is the norm. But when I write the blogs impulsively, those are finished in an hour and a half flat.
When I get an impulse, the beginning, the middle and the end are right in front of my eyes. The classic case of impulsive writing is my blog, Brave Art! https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2018/06/08/brave-art/
The blog is about a young girl Manasi from Nashik, who decided to do nude paintings. It was a brave move for a young girl from a family like yours and mine. I had read her articles, about the tough path she has chosen, in a Marathi newspaper. I was trying to know about her through Sudhakar, my friend. He sent me a WA message giving details about her with her photograph; at that same moment, I was reading a beautiful poem where the poet was describing the lovely transition in a woman’s body as she was getting drenched in the rain. My blog was ready in an hour flat.
Let us look at one more blog. This blog to me is also impulsive.
It is an old blog written three years back. The incident I have shared was very awkward even to watch. The gentleman, who was my age, behaved very irrationally, and the young lady was grace personified. I was very much agitated after the incident. It is a smallish blog, and I finished it in half an hour! I had full clarity in my mind the moment I started writing.
One thing that hits all of us hard in the guts is the death of young people. Such deaths keep on haunting you all the time. For the families, these deaths lurk in the background all the time.
I wrote this blog when I came to know about the death of young niece of a dear friend. She had no known health issues. A couple of weeks before, another friend lost his forty-year-old son. That the son had a heart condition does not give us any solace. While speaking with my friend about the niece’s death, he told me how the whole family was devastated. Even while writing these sentences, I feel emotionally drained. I cannot imagine how the families have handled the deaths. What I have written is not a blog; it is an outpouring from a distressed heart!
My blog written a few days ago is a classic case of compulsive writing. I have been thinking about the subject for some time. The theme is Adhyatma.
Usually, when I complete a blog, my mind is clear, and I get the satisfaction about writing on the chosen topic in the best possible manner within my limitations. But not this blog; even after completing this blog I am not too sure what I wanted to say. I am still not sure what is Adhyatma. I somehow get a feeling that Adhyatma is Mount Everest of the intellectual process. A friend Prakash was surprised that I ended up with a firm No, No! We had some exchange of notes on WhatsApp. When he suggested that I have also done reasonably well in life, I am still not convinced. What is the meaning of doing well? I am not talking about financial aspects.
The word transcendental is used in the discussions about Adhyatma. The Cambridge dictionary meaning of the word is: A transcendent experience, event, object, or idea is extremely special and unusual and cannot be understood in ordinary ways. Probably this is what I am trying to write and explain. How many people reach the pinnacle of what they are doing? How many of us reach a peak in life and continue doing it? I had given examples of Tendulkar, Ambani, Rahman and Bachchan. A sport’s person needs to retire due to physical limitations. But for others, I feel that there is no limit of age and they can pursue what they are doing till they are physically able to do it. Why should they give up on material things in life? What happens if they occasionally indulge with the money they have made?
Another friend Kishor suggested that I need to read Bhagwad Gita to understand the meaning of Adhaytma. I have read a couple of chapters but have not done a serious reading of Gita. I came to know that people learn Bhagwad Gita by heart. People are encouraged to do so. I met someone who took that path; I asked her what did she achieve? She was honest and said, “Nothing”! To me, she had climbed a hillock when there was a tall mountain in front of her.
The saying depicted above is the most crucial part of Gita. It is implied that we get Adhikar to live in this world due to past karma from our previous lives. We start our life with a debt of our parents; every stage we go into, more debts of the other people and the society around us gets accumulated. As per the saying above we should keep on working without expecting any returns. You should earn your pay “package” on this earth to repay the debt. Repayment of debt is where I am still confused. Which debt should we repay? Societal obligation or family debt? The Adhikar or entitlement is given to us by HIM. Then we should repay His debt too! What is the meaning of repaying the debt? How do we repay His debt? How do we know that we have repaid it? Is this the meaning of renunciation?
At what stage do we start renunciation? At what stage should we go away from material stuff? Lord Krishna tells Arjuna to follow his dharma of a warrior and not bother about who his enemy is. Arjuna sees his family standing opposite him to fight a war. If fighting a battle with the family is correct dharma or walking away from such a situation the right dharma?
Prakash and Kishor, I have already mentioned that I am too ordinary a person to understand these lofty things. I tried to discuss things above my intellectual level and got more confused. At what stage do we want to start climbing the Mount Everest? Are we equipped for it? At least I am not! Then which are the people who follow the path of Adhyatma? Honestly, I am personally ok with some indulgence. I would rather walk out than going to battle with family! This what I mean by back to square one! I love the fruits of my writing the blog, your love! Am I confused?