In many religions, Confession is the acknowledgement of one’s sins or wrongs. In Christianity, people make Confession formally. A person goes to the church and confesses to evil deeds and asks for penance. This arrangement between the person and the priest is like a lawyer-client relationship. It is an arrangement which is always upheld as sacrosanct.
But not every religion has this arrangement. But each human needs to share his/her thoughts with someone who is very close to them. All of us go through difficult times, good times and tough times. Some of these are so tough that our reactions to such situations can be, “Oh! I want to kill that fellow”! But killing someone is not an option. But what should one do if such feeling arises in mind? We need to vent out strong emotions, but this is possible only when you have intimacy with someone with whom you can share any details. At the same time, there is a need to get your feelings validated by someone. Why would you say that you want to kill someone? It is an extreme reaction to a situation. If you don’t forget this incident and keep brooding about it, you may explode (you might kill that person), or you will implode and go into depression.
In such situations, you need a “Hiding Place”! The concept of “Hiding Place” comes from Bible Psalm 32:7! (Correct me about psalms, I am reading details about them for the first time)
In the Bible the hiding place is HIM! God is the “Hiding Place” place because he is
- Communing (means share one’s intimate thoughts or feelings with (someone), especially on a spiritual level.)
I said that there is a need for “Hiding Place” in the real world too; the hiding place is you and me or any other person. A person can be a friend, brother, sister, or anybody really intimate with you. What is the importance of “Hiding Place” in our life? The incident mentioned above resulted in a feeling “I wanted to kill that person.” The “Hiding Place” is a sounding board who will listen to you, encourage you to open out and vent your steam. At the same time, “Hiding Place” or the person will not be judgemental and say that you were wrong to react this way. The person will listen to you and accept that you responded strongly. At the same time, the person will tell you the futility of such a reaction. By “hiding” we have achieved a few things. Your strong emotions were vented out, you are assured that your strong feelings, though not justified, get vetted. Once you have cooled down, you can discuss the real-life solution!
Some people are born with extreme emotions, some are cool, but most are in between. They are likely to lose their shirt in a situation! Some are lucky that they have a “hiding place”. You use someone as a sounding board, and if that person has most of the traits mentioned above, you are lucky. We read every day in newspapers stories about murders. The reasons for some of these murders are so flimsy that problems could have been quickly resolved by discussing with someone.
The root cause of unwelcome behaviour in society is unresolved conflicts from the minds of the people. Such unresolved disputes, and locked up feelings fo not find the healthy outlet and end result are simple problems getting converted to road rage events and sometimes into a murder.
In today’s times, we hear many stories about couples divorcing. If the reason for such divorces is listed out, then all the couples in the world should be divorced. Relations between pairs are very personal so unless they have access to a “hiding place”, issues are never going to be resolved. Recently I heard of a surprising way in which marital discord was resolved between a couple, who got married three years back. Both were lucky to have sensible friends. On husbands side, he had some females as his close friends, and they discussed the issues with him. They explained to him the women’s perspective of looking at things. At the same time on the wife’s side, some male friends discussed the issue and explained to her the male’s view of looking at problems. Of course, both were sensible persons. They later sorted out the problems amongst themselves, and now most of the discord related issues are overcome.
I read one beautiful story about a British movie The Wingless Bird! In this movie, a British Army Captain has come back on a short leave during the First World War. The war has affected his mind deeply. But he is trying to keep up the tradition of the British Family of being in the army. He is very uneasy and does not know what to do because he is very much troubled. Finally, he finds the courage to open out with his brother’s wife. He explains to her the whole situation on the war front. The dismembered bodies, rain, the trenches, the mud, fleece and the rats. To add to this the wrong orders from seniors lead to many unnecessary deaths. Of course, the seniors are safe, far away from the front! After sharing these ghastly details, the Captain had a smile on his face. The situation on the front was not going to change, but he could unburden his thoughts. He thanked his brother’s wife that he could talk to her. She in return told him that she was delighted that he trusted her. The lady was the Captain’s Hiding Place!
Friends, I have simplistic solutions for everything as I very rarely react very strongly to a situation. I always think about the Utopian world. But let me assure you, it is not very difficult. Let us form a bank of “Hiding Places”! The newspapers have a section on agony aunt. As this correspondence is anonymous, it works like the confession box from the Churches. I am lucky to be a “Hiding Place” to many. Ultimately every individual has to solve his or her dilemma! A bit of shoulder to “cry on” always helps. People smoke, go to pubs sometimes when they are tense. Instead look for a “hiding place”. You have them around, there are many good people around, you need to locate them.
As usual, this is my simplistic solution, but it is worthwhile trying.