Our life is about managing things, managing the boss, managing the wife and managing finances. If we can handle these things then probably we do not have to manage our mood. Yes, the mood is another crucial thing that we need to manage. Can we manage our mood? Is the mood control in our hands? Yes, it is! In our lives, nothing lasts forever. There could be a financial loss, there could be a death in the family, there could be a heartbreak; the human brain is designed to overcome such issues over some time.
Our mood changes on day to day basis! Serious events could catch you in a melancholy mood for some days. But on day to day basis, our mood can be good, bad and the average of good and bad. It can be nasty for a short period. Similarly, it can be boisterous too. Nobody would like to be in bad or a sad mood. If we attempt to come out of it, we can do it.
We generally think that we are disturbed because another individual said something to you, or thought you were doing your things correctly, but still, you have been wronged. You passed through when the green signal was turning yellow, but you were given a ticket because you jumped the signal. Yes, there will be annoying people or events, but that is always not the case. It is not others all the time who spoil our mood.
Some of the reasons for your foul mood can be
- You have not slept well during the night
- Weather is nasty
- Traffic snarls due to which you almost missed your flight
- You have to deal with an idiot at the workplace
- You are unnecessarily insulted by a salesman or a clerk
These things are bound to happen. These incidents happen to healthy, wealthy or happy people all the time; such events occur in case of all the people. Before we can improve anything by way of correcting the process, we must understand what the problem is. We should not avoid things that destroy our mood. In life sometimes we need to confront people or situations. Human weakness is to avoid such things, but that does not solve the issue. So we must give priority to understand the problem first.
The event or the situation is not harmful, it is the human reaction to the situation, is what creates the foul mood. Many times adverse events can generate a response in us which can lead to improving the situation and getting into a better spirit. The good idea is to keep a log of such events for a period and analyse why it is happening. Keeping a record can help us understand ourselves better. There is no point in trying not to confront such situations.
Now that you know a bit about getting into the foul mood, it will be a good idea to know how to come out of it.
It’s simple. Come out of a lousy mood! Ok, it is not that simple. First and foremost is shrug off and don’t react. Let things cool down for at least some time. Why this needs to be done is because our first reaction to such situations is always emotional and not rational. Emotional response can further aggravate the situation rather than diffusing it. But at the same time, do not leave things open; there has to be a closure otherwise we stay in a foul mood for a long time.
We keep on getting text messages, emails which can create a tough situation. I will share an example. I had received an email from a business associate who was very unfair and nasty. There was no fault from my side. I wrote a nasty email which I did not send. I saved it in the draft folder. I slept over the email. Next day, I reread the mail. I realised that considering long term relationship, my original mail would have cost us dearly. I diluted my mail by 95% and sent it. Of course, I mildly registered my protest and also wrote how it was not our fault. Two things happened because of this. The gentleman called me and said that he was forced to write that mail due to some awkward situation in their organisation but he did not mean it. He made up for our loss in the next project. Secondly, since I had written a nasty mail and stored it in the draft file, I had blown up steam and had cooled down considerably. Two things together gave the situation a proper closure.
There are situations when you react, and in some cases, you don’t respond. You need to consider what is involved. Does this affect your integrity? Is your relationship with someone close and dear at stake? In such cases the action is necessary.
The relationship may involve your girlfriend or a boyfriend. If some angry words are used there can be overall disappointment with girlfriend refusing to talk to you. You get angrier because she does not speak to you and the situation may get out of control. It is a good idea not to let emotions take control of the situation. If you value your relationship, it is better not to say something harsh, though it might make you feel better at that time.
Managing your moods is tough, and you need to practice it. First few times you may not handle it well. But over a period you do!
But something is bound to trigger your bad mood. Try not to get soaked in that mood. Try to come out of it. Getting stuck in that lousy mood is a recipe for situation worsening. Overcome it, move on!
Life is about moving on! Try and set “Time Out T” like in a basketball game! Give yourself ten minutes, thirty minutes! Never allow yourself into foul mood indefinitely. Ultimately life has to go on!
It’s your life and unfortunately the only one you have. Try and enjoy it but remaining in a foul mood is not going to help.