Ego or Maniac 

Unexplained behaviour pattern by professionals is difficult to understand!

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After I heard a story about a person, I am not sure whether that person has a large ego or he is a maniac; maybe he is an egomaniac! This is what happened. One day a gentleman received text message, in our city Pune, from traffic police. We have a system, if you break traffic rules, the cameras placed at strategic locations in certain busy areas automatically take your picture. With vehicle details captured, a text is sent to you with the photograph in action, and challan for the fine, in this case Rs.250/. Our man was caught on camera but he was using his son’s two-wheeler hence the text message went to his son. His son paid off the fine, online, and next day he casually mentioned the incident to his father. His father said how can they know that I had broken the law, I did not have any interaction with police. So, his son showed him the text with photo!  

This is where the real story starts. First let me tell you the background of the person. He is senior gynecologist, my age, a reputed person in the society. The next day he met his gang who take morning walk together every day, and have their cuppa post walk. During the tea session, he told the story to others and was extremely agitated. He said how they can fine me for just standing on those white lines. I am sure, that he did not want to be “aware” of the concept of Zebra crossing! He felt that the government is looting the people under the garb of discipline. When he showed the photo to the friends, one of them said, “You are the only one standing on Zebra crossing, others are all behind”. He was so upset that he asked his friends, ” Tell me alternate route so that I don’t have to pass through that area, with cameras. I will make sure I will never pay the fine again. In fact, it was a big mistake that my son paid the fine!” He was told by friends, “Don’t change the route, simply follow the basic rules!” He said no way he can do that, heavens will not fall if I stand on those white lines. 

What would you call such a person? Why is so angry against basic thing like self-discipline? Is it because of his big fat ego? Or is he a maniac which means  that he has a specific type of mental abnormality or obsession? Or is he an ego maniac meaning a person who is obsessively egotistical or self-centered?  

If it were only ego, I would expect that good offices would have prevailed with a bit of pampering of the ego.  His friends were just suggesting that a highly educated person like him should be the role model to all. As a doctor he is a leader in the society. If he had said something after road rage or some altercation or an argument with police, it would be understandable though not acceptable. His son paid the fine indicates that the progeny is behaving normally and doing fine so nothing in DNA.  

A professional like him cannot be a maniac, I am confident. This would have been known to all, had it been the case. But can be termed as ego maniac! Too much self-centered, very high self-esteem and person with an attitude are the terms that can define such a person. Where does the world go if an  educated professional has this attitude?  

Anyone breaking law is not acceptable. But did the doctor achieve something with this behavior? I do not visualize any apparent gain. There was no interaction with any human in this episode. Is lack of interaction bugging him? That he was caught unawares is also bugging him! If a policeman had been present and pointed out to him the incorrect action, the doctor would have probably bull dozed the policeman into letting him get away.  An illiterate person does not know the rules so he may break it. He would not generally break rules once it is pointed out to him. Our man brazenly challenges the law; but does he have guts to challenge it in court of law?  

Do we come across many such people in life? Honestly not many, but what could be the genesis of this thought process in humans? Can this be the superiority complex? This can happen in a smallish group of people, if somebody does far better than others in life. Or it can also happen due to perceived success in life. What is the definition of better? What is the definition of success? A lot of money, a lot of political clout? Or What? Is it better? Or being a good human being is better? But if we take the case of our doctor, there may be hundreds of such people in our city who have reached their success station in life. Why did our doctor become this way? Is there something skewed in his persona? Could it be due to some specific incident in his life’s earlier phase? How does his family handle him or even tolerate him? Maybe there is no option!  

We can only pray to Him that our doctor does not become role model to anyone! I also pray to God to “cure” him of his issues; honestly it is embarrassing to see people behave so differently!

 

  

 

Wish I were better…

Why people act in a certain way, is difficult to understand but could be because of traumas faced in childhood!

Our son Sachin is older than our daughter Priya by 11 years. We used to have very interesting discussions on our dining table. Priya was in first grade and Sachin was in college. He would tell stories or share anecdotes of happenings in the college. The moment Sachin finished, Priya would start with “This is what happened in my school today!” She would then narrate something, of course imaginary, what happened with Dilip or Meena or whoever were her friends. Initially we would try to tell her not to spin stories. She would not stop but continue! Then we realized that it was her urge to take part in conversation and not feel left out. In retrospection, I felt that she developed the skills to narrate anecdotes as well as an ability of story telling, which is essential in life.

As I look back in life, I realized that people who were brought up in homes and families which were so called socially challenged, must have faced trauma, as life must have been difficult. In childhood, the child has no inhibitions. The child is bold and open minded, if allowed. But when there are challenges in life, healthy discussion is not a priority because the parents themselves never got such an opportunity and would suppress the urge in children. I was brought up in a family where openness was the norm. I luckily could convert this advantage in becoming, hopefully, a good individual! Jury is still out!

The effects of suppressed upbringing last a lifetime, with a few honourable exceptions. What would be the effects of suppression? One important effect would be even a successful individual with tough background, may always feel the need to check if they have done better than their peers! A good painter may keep on comparing with others. Am I good enough? A good writer may keep comparing with peers. Am I better than so and so? He may add a few spins to his writing, like Priya did in her childhood, to make it noteworthy. Classic example is recent gaffe by Arnab Goswami, when he claimed that he was physically present during an event during Godhra riots, in Gujrat. The event did occur but his colleague  Rajdeep Sardesai was physically present and not Arnab.

I read recently that actor Nawazuddin Siddiquie’s wife slammed him for writing false things about himself in discussion about their broken marriage. Since I don’t know him, I can’t comment on what type of person he is. But is it some trauma in his growing up stage that caused him to make false claims? I can’t say.

How does an individual overcome such issues? How does he stop making false claims? How does he overcome the habit of deceitful expressions? Only way to do it is to take help of friends or anyone who will help. Second way  is to try and forget the traumas of the childhood but it is easier said than done. When I wrote about writer above, if writing is his profession then he may attempt deceit but one need not do it if he is a professional in different field and writing is his hobby! In a hobby there is nothing to prove!

Finally, I will narrate a story about a very young daughter of our maid servant, who used to come to play with Priya, when she was young. Their family unfortunately came from a financially challenged background. While playing with Priya, she would tell stories of how they had many gadgets at home, how she had different toys to play at home and so on. One day I was sitting in the same room as they were. I heard her speak and my eyes moistened with sadness because I knew her background. I pray to God nobody is required to become a spin doctor to overcome  trauma of their childhood! Or teach us all to accept things as they are!

Oh My God!

Dive into depth of His trough of knowledge and achieve Nirvana!

Dios mío, Oh mein Gott, おやまあ, अरे देवा, हे भगवान. These are the expressions in different languages meaning the same thing. This obviously shows that in any and every culture, concept of God has been in existence for a very long time. What is God? Everybody’s concept, strength of belief about God is different. In fact it does depend on religion, faith but more on individual beliefs. That is why we have some staunch believers and a few who tend towards being atheists or rationalist!

To me God is a belief, and an unknown super power. This thought process is fortified by the some events that happen in the world where we don’t seem to have any control! I am not talking of only bad things, we have no control on good things too! In bad times, people mostly use God as a punching bag and good times are of course their own doing, their own competence, their own expertise! In such situations people forget that He is around!

How He came into being? In olden times when general knowledge of the populace was limited, any situation not understood, was act of God! Not that situation has changed much even today but with progress in scientific knowledge of humans, at least in some cases we are able to differentiate between natural phenomena, scientific achievement and of course Act of God! This act of God will continue till the end of the world, because there always will be many things on which humans will have no control.

To me God and things surrounding the thought of God are like the ocean. Our knowledge of the ocean and its behavior is very much limited to whatever we see near the sea shore. Similarly, our knowledge about Him is very superficial. In the sea our general activity is maybe up to 50 kms from the sea shore. I am not talking of large sea vessels which travel all over the world! These vessels are result of scientific knowledge put together by humans to overcome challenges of the ocean. These are very small in numbers. I will compare these with some Gurus who have studied in depth about Him and they can be compared with sea going large vessels, again very small in numbers. Even with large sea going vessels the mystery of Bermuda Triangle has never been resolved. Similarly His mysterious ways are also not understood by us.

On a day to day basis we have formed our rituals about Him. These cannot be really explained in logical or scientific terms. In Islam, there is practice of self-flagellation, in Hindus people walk bare foot long distances to visit a mandir, sometimes they crawl to a mandir. To some extent it is followed in Christianity too!  Why this is done? This is supposed to be penance for the deeds of the humans. But I always thought that the spirituality or the thought of God is within one’s mind, so what is achieved by physical penance is difficult to understand and follow. This practice is being followed for thousands of years and even today people do not want to apply scientific thought to such practices. People don’t want to challenge the old tradition that may not make sense today, because they are afraid of His wrath! Or are they afraid of orthodox people from the religious bodies to challenge such practices?

In many temples, even today, ladies are not allowed to enter! Because they are “impure”! One Mandir management in south India ran into a tricky situation. A law and Order situation got created in that Mandir and police arrived there led by a DCP! The DCP was a lady! They had no option but to allow a lady to enter! Many of the practices, rituals were creations of old times when situations were totally different. People and the so called holy leaders don’t want to change this for a simple reason that they will lose control! It is all about power, these rituals are ensured to create fear psychosis in the minds of the followers. How do you explain a guy riding a motorcycle paying his obeisance to Him, without even stopping his bike momentarily, releasing both his hands from the handle of the bike, not even slowing down! He is afraid that if he does not do his namaskar, His fury will destroy him! Is it so? Is He telling you to pay obeisance? It is in our mind hence we are doing it! Religious leaders are happy with this situation because they have achieved to keep fear going in the mind of the people.

Friends try to reach the depth of the ocean that is Him! Presently, all we are trying to do is water surfing, catching the fish, enjoying the swim near the shore! That may appear to be the ultimate thing to be achieved with Him! Go to the depths, where the ocean has lovely corals that we have never seen, ocean has mountains within its body of which we never even think of, ocean has many beautiful things hidden from us because we have never traversed its depth. In the same way, forget the flagellation, forget the fasting, and forget the crawling. Try to really understand His depth, without being afraid of Him. God is hardly bothered what you do for Him because ultimately He does what has decided about us, (Act of God!) our society and our world. Those depths will be really beautiful like the oceans. Reach them and you will achieve the Nirvana!

God Bless You! Que dios te bendiga! Gott beschütze dich! お大事に! देव तुझे भले करो! भगवान तेरा भला करे!

Life’s Journey!

This is about passing of friends and musing s about life’s journey

We have different phases in our lives from childhood, youthful student, working professional, married person with family, and retired person. All these phases are like mini journeys that we take up in life. Longest and most enjoyable journey that I remember is our so called “educational tour” I had taken during final year of engineering. It was a train journey for three weeks where we had one bogey to ourselves and did we have fun! But it’s not the journey that I am writing about today. It’s the end of journey that I am writing about.

When we entered Maharashtra on the way back to Bombay, I remember someone got down at Bhusawal, then Nasik, Thane, Dadar and finally VT. The reason for there getting down was  that these friends’ homes were at these places. So it was natural for them to get down there. But in our life’s journey we all have the same final home, address is known, “station” to get down is same for all! But it is like musical chair and when music stops those who are “left standing”  have to go. Though the “station” is one, the timings to get down are different in perpetual journey of life.

These thoughts came to mind when I came to understand about Prakash’s death this morning. Some are lucky enough like us, who have reached “retirement” phase, though we may not actually retire physically. When our “ultimate” time comes, though we may not know ourselves, we have to get down from life’s train and there is no option.

The difference between all our previous “journey’s” and the ultimate journey is that knowing the exact time when our journey is ending. In all previous journey’s sometimes we remember the end, sometimes we don’t. When I completed my first two years in college in Elphinstone Mumbai, I simply don’t remember when this journey ended. There are many very happy memories of those two years but for some reason I don’t remember the end distinctly. Same thing happened with my COEP journey. After I completed my Bachelor’s degree, I continued with my Master’s degree. The ending phase also coincided with my courtship with Jaya, in fact six months before ME we got married. Most of the friends left COEP and started new life of professionals. My being busy in Master’s degree and courtship, made the end of journey at COEP a bit hazy.

I distinctly remember my last day of working for someone. I was in Bombay with Premier Automobiles on company work. My boss had requested me to complete one pending issue! Since then I am on own and continue to work full time in my “retirement” phase.

For around last 15 years sporadic information about friends and relatives going on their ultimate journey started trickling in. But 2017 has been watershed year. Swati Ekbote (Sudhir Ekbote’s wife) on 1st January, Pappy Deshmukh, Maheshbhai my friend and mentor, Dilip Panjikar, Chandar Mekhale, Pendse- Jaya’s guru in computers and now Prakash Karandikar; so many till date.

When I heard about Prakash’s death today I felt empty the way I felt when people were getting down on different railway stations at the end of educational tour, as I got down last at VT and  I was feeling empty! But at that time I knew that I am going to meet all these guys again after a few days. Today I know that I am not going to meet these guys again, ever!

Every person handles death in a different way. But I am sure all of us get that melancholy feeling when we hear about death of friends and dear ones. Today morning things looked dark and bleak, I was mechanically getting ready for office and was trying to write this piece. Out of blue one of my seniors from industry, he is ten years elder to me, called and said, “Hey Panvalkar, how are you doing?” I was happy to hear his usual pleasant voice and chatted with him for about ten minutes. I asked him,” Sir, is there any specific reason you called me?”. He said, “No, since we had not spoken for sometime I thought why not speak to you today! I keep on reading your blogs and I am keeping track of what you write.” We ended our conversation and he invited me for a chit chat at his home! This event, I feel was the God’s way of trying to bring me back to normal and this chat was definitely a bright light that suddenly shone through the dark clouds surrounding me. Thank you Doctor for bringing me back almost to normal through this melancholy period.

God has designed the human in such a way that probably in a day or two we will all be back to normal. In our retirement phase we should try different things to keep ourselves busy besides the normal things like walking, yoga, religious stuff. With the help of net we can study new languages, start writing own experiences, not necessarily for sharing with others! My friend Sudhakar has taken up painting in big way. Try to complete your wish list which in modern language is called bucket list! Travel, read, listen to music do something which you could not do before.

One good thing about the end of journey is when ones time comes, that person does not know that his/her time has come! So live your life King size as if there is no end! Happy journey folks! Every day try to talk a friend or a cousin or an  uncle on phone! You never know ……

 

Age with an Open Mind III

After writing the blog “Age with an Open Mind”, I got an idea that I should write a couple of more blogs on the similar theme. The first blog was mainly about “keeping the brain active and sharp”. In second one I have written about “keeping our body active, sharp and flexible.” In the third & final blog in the series I will write about “Keeping our mind active, positive and interactive.”

Human personality is complex and is made up of Brain, Body and Mind! These three aspects are most important but there could be many more aspects which will be subsets of these three aspects. Brain and Body are physical but Mind can be described as a “Virtual Entity” in today’s language. We describe people as “Oh! He/ She is a simple soul”. Or sometimes we say “Oh! He is a tough guy!” All these adjectives like Simple, Tough describe the personality of humans. Simple soul could be six foot tall and a tough guy could be five foot tall! Human personality is a combination these three parameters.

How does the combination affect us? In young age, we are so busy with many things that we don’t care or have time to think about these aspects, we neglect our body but our brain is active. As we age our mind starts behaving differently as we have more time on hand. Our body and brain start aging. There is a saying in Marathi language मन चिंती ते वैरी न चिंती“! It means that bad thoughts can veer so much in our mind, even our worst enemy will never think about us that way.

This is the reason we should think of “minding” our mind. Personality of a human being is formed by what one sees from outside and also what is not seen from outside. In my first two blogs I have written about the “seen” part. If your brain is sharp it reflects in your demeanor. If your body is aging as it should, this is also seen from your fitness levels but your mind’s status may not be “seen” as some of us are good actors and we hide the mind’s aging process to some extent. As and when we retire, relevance of various activities changes for you as well as for others. When you don’t go to office every day, our perspective of time changes. You need to handle time on hand. During working phase, you don’t get time for many things but when you retire, there is plenty of time for everything plus you are left with more than excess time on hand. This needs to be planned well.

In brain and body blogs we discussed their management during retirement. Similarly let us define how to manage our mind.

1.       First and foremost we must understand that we will have more than enough time and others may not have time for you. Get used to it!

2.       Keep connect with people of all age groups.

3.       Try and keep connect keep connect with younger people, try and understand modern things, otherwise connect becomes difficult

4.       Cell phone and internet technologies are part of our day to day life, adapt to them.

5.       Never let the discussion veer towards “in our times”- your time is gone, nobody is interested in it!

6.       By all means join groups where people are your age but be selective to ensure that most are broadminded and positive.

7.       Travel and visit places where you could not go during working days, due to lack of time.

8.       Take up a hobby like reading, painting, writing, bird watching and what have you!

9.       Your day must be planned in such a way that you always have something to look forward to.

10.   There are many other things that can be done but it depends on individuals.

11.       Try and remain financially independent and keep your finances under your control. Your assets are for your children “after both of you go and not before”. Don’t become emotional about it. This gives peace to your mind!

12.       Keep your financial documents properly managed, that gives you peace in mind!

These are some of the things that are going to keep your mind active and positive. Remaining positive and interested in your retired life is going to help you remain healthier. At this age some or the other physical issues are bound to be around. But recovering from ailments is going to be easier by positivity of mind. At this stage there will be deaths of spouse, siblings, friends, close ones, neighbours. Handling deaths is an aspect which needs to be learnt. Share your thoughts with others, don’t just clam up. Your mind comes into picture in such situations. Positive and strong mind is going to help you. Friends, try to keep your mind as busy as you were during your working days. This may not involve physical activity but mental activities.  

God has given us gift of human body and brain. Body is bound to age naturally, but mind is not the God’s gift. It is in our hands to keep it young! If we take special efforts to keep our mind positive, active and agile, quality of our retired life will be much better! Mind is OUR business!

True & False -Smart & a Half Species!

What is truth? It is a real question that has to be looked at the way our Universe performs. Whatever Universe does is flawless. Why it is flawless, because it always follows rules, it always follows the path of truth. Do we see any accidents in the Universe as we see on our own earth? Do the Sun and the Moon ever ram into each other? At the end of every day, you always get the night and never a day! Why? Because rules are followed to the last T! Do birds wake up at midnight? Never because they follow the rules. They go “home” at the pre decided time which is set by the nature and go to sleep to wake up early morning again as per rules set by the nature. In winter I see birds flying back to their nest maybe at 5.45 in the evening but in summer they fly back at 6.45 in the evening, again following the rules of nature as the days are longer in summer. Classic case of nature’s rules being followed is by Polar Bears. It is a recorded fact that all the Polar Bears in a certain area go into winter hibernation sleep exactly at the same time on the same day!

If we compare adjectives “True” and “False” then true fits the Universe and the only species that fits false in this Universe, is the human race. Truth depicts the Universe and Falsehood depicts the human race. The Universe is existing for millions of years and the time for which the human race exists is blip on that time scale. Human race has evolved from the same eco system as the Universe. But why the human race is so different in comparison with other species!

Is it the evolution of brain? Is it the evolution of physical attributes like being able to walk on two limbs! Is it because humans are the only species who can make use of thumbs of their hands. If we think of brain and body coordination monkeys are way ahead of humans. But what is it that has made humans different- not better! What is the reason behind human deceit? How this attribute is so much developed? From where has this trait evolved? I am not an anthropologist but I am sure studies have been made to study the evolution of human attribute of deceit.

Survival of the fittest has been the motto of the Universe. Right from the beginning, there have been fights on “ownership” of the Eve, later on other “assets” came into picture. In all other species, this is decided by fighting amongst each other to decide. Human society has evolved over a period of time, and has created a system of marriage (trying to follow rules?). Yes rules are broken in the marriage system also but maybe the percentage of rule breakers is still manageable. How do they manage divorce in monkeys or lions? Or they don’t have system of divorce!

Human race has made great progress compared to other species. Is falsehood the attribute needed for progress? I know of attributes like drive, passion, thinking out of box that help one to go ahead of others but human species has a special attribute of falsehood or deceit which is not present in other species. Humans deceive, cheat and in general try to break rules where possible. A lion catches a deer as his prey and will eat till his stomach is full. He will walk away once he is full. A cat will drink milk but when it is done, it will just walk away. We humans also follow rules in initial phase of our life. A child will normally never over eat. The child just refuses to eat when full. But the mother of the child will always think that the child is eating less, and she will force more food than needed. End result the child will vomit.

What is it with breaking of rules? Humans will break rules while driving, while paying his taxes, while he is wooing his fiancée, in short at every stage in life if possible rules are broken. In some countries this percentage is less because Government is more vigilant! We really don’t know if it is necessary to break rules to achieve something. A businessman friend of mine, once showed me the calculation how he could make a lot of money by cheating on paying income tax. A month after this discussion, his whole family was raided by income tax department at 7 am. I met him a couple of days after the raid. He was very sad, naturally! After some time he said that he was very sad. I said that I can understand. He said he was not sad because of the raid. “Expense” for raid was budgeted for. But he was sad because his mother asked him a question, “When we have so much why you are cheating?” He had no answer and that made him sad. Ultimately we have to answer to HIM if not to your own mother (who anyway is GOD), is it not? I always keep on thinking how the world will be, if nobody breaks rules? Is it my utopian thinking?

Maturity!

My friend Vijay and I always exchange notes on what we have read from Sunday newspapers. Our favorite paper being Times of India (minus its political coverage). Both of us have been reading Times since sixties. Vijay asked me if I have read a blog by Vinita Dawra Nangia, from “O Zone” titled “What Does It Mean to be Mature”. I am giving the link for the same below.

(http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/O-zone/what-does-it-mean-to-be-mature/

As the luck would have it I was reading the same. I jokingly replied to Vijay that to become mature one should become Admin of a WhatsApp group. Ours is a group oldies from COEP, Pune who became engineers in 1971. We are a crowd of reasonably successful engineers and have done varied things in life. From a group of 400 at least 10% are active and balance are partially active to passive! We are on this group, I have secretly named our group as Cartoon Network. On this groups we have friends from various levels of maturity. Some are extremely mature and some have remained “a”mature! (Amateur!!)

My take on maturity is

A person who has self-belief so strong that he/she can accept his/her own mistakes, if required openly, is open to different view point of others, willing to accept totally new viewpoint or direction, and still show as if he/she was saying the same thing though something opposite was being agreed!

I will try to explain my definition in small segments.

Owning a mistake

This is the biggest and the strongest trait of maturity. We all make mistakes in our lives and upto an extent we keep on justifying them. Justifying till proven as a mistake, (innocent till proven guilty) is also maturity of owning what you said or did! But at some stage when we know that it is a mistake, the individual is mature and magnanimous enough to accept it openly. By openly accepting error is to show your acceptance to your friends and colleagues, who may also follow example set by you, for betterment of whatever we are doing.

Being open to a different viewpoints

GOD has given us a brain that really has no limits. We humans will have totally different views upto 360 degrees on the same subject. In cricketing parlance we know that a batsman will be bold, caught out, LBW and what have you on a specific ball. But a Sachin Tendulkar will hit the same ball for a six at Cover and yes Virat Kohli now will hit for a six over mid-wicket! If we keep on arguing that such and such ball should be played carefully, is not using your brain fully. By remaining in your own cocoon one’s growth may get stunted. The mature person will always have mature ideas but is mature enough to embrace someone else’s better ideas with open arms.

After embracing new idea take it forward with same zeal as your own thoughts

Maturity of a person is seen when he/she takes forward new idea brought forward by someone else as if it’s his/her own idea. In short the individual is a total team player! This situation does come up on a daily basis from the smallest of issues, like which Ice cream to eat, to which generator should be purchased for an organization. Once a consensus is reached mature person will not even show that there were different opinions. In an organization, a society or even in the family an individual cannot have his own agenda. The individual agenda can cause disharmony and discontent.

There are various ways of looking at maturity. Some say that with age people become mature but it is definitely not so. Age has nothing to do with maturity. Maturity can definitely be acquired but I feel that persons with a very big Ego can never become mature. This is obvious as it has been explained above. Let me share an experience from our WhatsApp group. One of our friends is a CEO of an organization. When there were discussions on the group, our friend would just not budge. He would stick to his view point, always. In fact he would not follow basic rules formed to run the group. His behavior we realized is a typical immaturity caused by a large size EGO. But we were all friends and obviously equals. We took a long time to bring him in line with others!

Friends let me know your thoughts on maturity and don’t worry I am matured and open enough to take your suggestions. I hope it shows my maturity!!

 I am also giving below some definitions of maturity shared by Vinita

  • “Maturity is not when we start speaking big things; it is when we start understanding small things.”
  • “I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… now I look around and wonder if I like them.”
  • “Maturity comes when you stop making excuses, and start making changes.”
  • “Maturity is the capacity to endure uncertainty.”
  • “Maturity begins when we are content to feel we’re right about something, without feeling the necessity to prove someone else is wrong.”