Jinx !

What is your destiny? Are you jinxed?

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A couple of days back a new Metro line was inaugurated in Delhi’s NCR area. The occasion was graced by India’s Prime Minister, Chief Minister of the state of Uttar Pradesh and Governor of Uttar Pradesh. The line starts from NOIDA in UP and terminates within Delhi limits. The news item also said that this is the first time in more than 20 years, Chief Minister of UP has visited NOIDA. NOIDA is city of about one million population and no CM would go there, because those CM’s who visited NOIDA, lost their Chief Minister ship, immediately after the visit. So, the story spread that such visits are jinxed. In such a large city in the state, the Chief Ministers did not visit a major city due to “jinx”! This is simply unbelievable!  

On one side we are talking of Metros, Super Computers and on the other side we are talking of jinxes! Black cat crossing the path, evil eye causing havoc in lives! We are more scared of jinxes than of illnesses! Is it a way of finding someone or something to blame? In our universe there is some power which controls everything. Nobody knows anything about the power but we try to “control” it by taking action or performing some rituals. When something unpleasant happens, we call it a jinx. But when unexpected good event happens, we are not worried, we feel this happened because of my hard work. Problem is that we do not take life in stride, always try to look for easy solutions to anything unpleasant. It can be a ritual, it can be blaming the jinx.  

When we are true to ourselves, we know that chilly/lemon combination does not make the “evil” go away. Tying a black doll on the main door of our home does not force the evil to go away. The problem starts with the definition of evil. What is evil? Definition of evil is anything that happens out of turn in life, anything bad happens in life is evil. But what is bad? Is death of a parent bad? Yes of course, it is. But if the death happens at the age of say 80 plus, is it not a normal life event? Should this be treated as evil?  I don’t think so. In certain areas in Britain, death happening after the age of 80, without any serious health complications, is celebrated. There is party organized by the family which is called Golden Death Party! It is to celebrate good life lived by that person. In our culture also, after any death, lunch is arranged on a specific day, e.g. 13th day, and some sweets are served. The logic behind this is that we should bring the life back to normal routine, after the death!  

LimbuMirchi

In life when things happen out of turn, death of a young person in the family, sudden loss in business, a divorce in the family, sudden loss of an opportunity for higher studies, such things do happen. When such events occur, we feel that life has cheated us! To make sure that such events do not recur, we start following certain rituals. But does it really help? Sometimes events occur which are natural calamities, sometime due to market forces in the world; illnesses occur out of blue. By performing rituals, are you so sure that they are not going to recur? Events occur due to the reason that they are destined to happen in one’s life! We know of people who have never taken any alcohol, dying of liver cirrhosis. We know of non-smokers dying of throat or lung cancers. We have seen extremely fit athletes dying of heart failure on the field itself! This is destiny!  

The other day, I read an article about what people have done at Mandhara Devi, a famous deity near Satara, in Maharashtra. When it becomes dark people are sticking chits on trees, cursing whoever they want in writing and hoping that they will die in accident, or their houses will burn and so on! This is the reverse of the ritual. People feel that if they wish bad things for people in the mandir, their foes will really face problems! They forget that so called bad things happen as they are defined in one’s destiny and not by someone wishing bad things.  

One thing is for sure. Jinx and allied rituals are there in all cultures, world over. Human race cannot accept things happening out of turn; one interesting thing about rituals is black colour is used predominantly in rituals world over. Black Cats are supposedly bad omen but black Kohl dot on the forehead of babies is supposed to drive away the evil! 

 

In India, we see many Trucks with the famous writing on their back sides  बुरे नजरवाले तेरा मुह काला to drive away the evil! But that does not prevent some stray truck from ramming on the back side of the same truck! Let’s take things in stride and drive away bad stuff; it does not happen by way performing rituals.

BuriNazar

Goodness is Godliness!

Spread the spirit of Goodness!

My friend Vivek sent me a video. I saw the video once and watched it so many times, that had it been a vinyl record, it would have worn out! I have shared that clip below and I am sure you will love it too!  

 

A couple of months back I had written a blog “Oh! My God!” It was about the things that happen in this world which are not under our control but under HIS control. But anytime I see something good, it always reminds me of God! I am almost an atheist. Atheist is a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God. By this definition, I am not an Atheist but I can be called 95% Atheist! I do believe that there is a super power in this world that can be called God. But I don’t believe in religious rituals. As a family if we go to a mandir, I feel nice when I go there. I have visited Churches, Gurudwaras, Dargahs. All these are pristine places and give me a feeling that I have reached near Him! But that does not mean that I must visit Mandirs frequently, perform the poojas and so on!  

But do we really have to go to these places of worship to be near Him? HE is there in everything, a stone, a pond, a river, a child! HE is there on the road, in the jungle, in the skies! HE is there in a beggar and in an animal. When he is everywhere why humans take so much efforts to reach HIM, by way of rituals and physically go to places of worship?  We are forced into this by the society in general; people are scared that something will go wrong if some rituals are not followed! People tend to wear their God on their sleeves! Why this is done? If HE is everywhere, you don’t have wear a cap or a shawl displaying HIS Name. Does someone not wearing something displaying HIS name a lesser follower or a bad person?  

I have observed that in most religions, the so-called God men make sure that people will feel that if they don’t meet HIM regularly in a Mandir or a church, don’t follow the rituals regularly, they are in for trouble! Most people do this out of fear. I am aware that some of us just feel nice, going to places of worship and they may do so. But this habit should not get converted into a ritual. One should not feel, “Oh I have not visited the mandir in last two weeks, something bad is going to happen!” Because in such cases, it becomes a ritual followed out of fear!  

I am writing more about Hinduism, because as a Hindu I know a little more about Hindu rituals than those of other religions. Be honest to yourself and think whether your heart was touched more by the video clip above or by some rituals you follow, most of the time blindly or because someone else does it. I feel that if your heart is in the right place, the video film will beat everything else most of the times. Look at the Godliness in the film. The child believes that there is God in this world; his mother beautifully supports that innocent idea. He is too young to follow any teachings. He might have just heard from his teachers and parents that there is God and he is good! The reverse side of the story is that for homeless woman getting something to eat and the love she received unconditionally cannot be anything else but an act of God! The beautiful end is when the child tells his mother, “I met God today, but God is a lady with a beautiful smile!” Similarly, the homeless lady tells her partner, ” I met God today but he was much younger than expected!” What a beautiful way of expressing!

Think of this small film and the story. A great meaning is hidden in this story! Ultimately what do all the religions teach you? They say that be happy, be generous, love unconditionally and do not expect returns for your good deeds. The religions also tell you that He always knows and sees what is happening in our lives; He acts when we are destined to be rescued or served! Both the child and the homeless do not expect anything else from the encounter! The matter of fact way in which both share their experience, the child with his mother and homeless lady with her partner is to be seen to be believed!  

Today is the Christmas eve; Christmas is an annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, observed most commonly on December 25, as a religious and cultural celebration among billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it is preceded by the season of Advent or the Nativity Fast. This is a Christian festival but the ritual followed in Christmas is one which teaches children from childhood, that Santa gives gifts for the good deeds that we perform throughout the year! Its a great way of teaching children to be good, all the time! In childhood it is great way of teaching goodness! Ultimately, Goodness is Godliness!  

Merry Christmas to all my friends and let us listen to HO HO HO from Santa Claus!

 

¡ larga vida a la India!

Good always wins over bad!

¡ larga vida a la India! This is Spanish translation of Long Live India, the title of my previous blog! While writing that blog, I was distressed and was in melancholy mood. But as promised the next days’ early morning lovely weather and the bird’s singing brought me back to my normal self. I am going to talk of an India story; many such stories are mushrooming, all over India, amidst the bad things that keep happening around. My belief that good always wins over bad, continues!

In my younger days, we lived in a condo. A young girl used to support us in looking after our son. Later, she and her brother were offered living quarters and a job, as a watchman, in our condo. This family stayed over and was in the condo for next 25 years! Later, the girl got married and went away but the family of two brothers and their wives continued. Over a period, they had 2 children each. Their elder children were same age as my daughter. When they left our condo, they had a house of their own, one of brothers had died. Their wives continued to work with us as domestic help for a few years more. Then they moved on, as we all do in our lives!

We also moved on from the condo and went elsewhere to live! Recently, Jaya got in touch with one of the ladies and next day all of them came to meet us! The two elder children got themselves through school and are working in an automotive workshop as an expert mechanic and office manager. These children helped their mothers to guide their younger siblings through engineering college. Both these younger kids are working now in IT industry! They now have a bigger house but they have remained the simple people they are!

Look at the change in one generation! The parents were working as domestic help with a bit of help from agriculture income from their village; elder siblings pooling in later, helped the younger kids to join the modern work force! Honestly, if anybody had asked me about this scenario back in 90’s, I would have badly failed in my prediction! It is a clear-cut result of consistency, determination, hard work, and I am sure they all had aims!

What was the contribution of all of us from the condo? We sometimes supported them additionally with some more money other than their salary. We all treated them as family, we celebrated festivals together. This probably helped the kids to aim high in life, but it is their success, we were only on the periphery during their formative years. All the families in the condo, when they went out, left their home keys with the family. They would help us organizing certain things in our homes during our absence.

I will share with to you one experience from those times. My mother had come to stay with us for some period. One of the lady who helped us in cooking, gave a couple of biscuits to her child, from our stock, as the child was crying. When Jaya came home, my mother told her the incident! My mother felt that it was not right thing to do so! But Jaya explained to her. A couple of days before my daughter was unwell and did not feel hungry. This lady told Jaya, don’t worry. I will take the child home and feed her! She did that with such love! We were more like family! The same treatment was meted out to them by other families in the condo!

What is so big in the story? In India there many people who come from economically bad situation. It is for a little more fortunate people like us, who can take part in bringing them out of the tough situation by behaving with them as normal human beings, to guide them and their children to take the right decision, to become their roll models by doing our work sincerely and guiding our family and children, to respect all people, irrespective of their station in life! This probably helps people to feel that it is possible to come up in life in India too! We hear of a lot of rags to riches stories especially from USA. But in our country also, there are a lot of good stories happening,  like the one I shared.

When I move around these days, whenever I hire a taxi, I make sure that I talk to the drivers and ask them about their lives and their families. You will not believe, they will share many things with you, if you give them good ear! While listening to their stories, they always have small queries and want to know how certain things are done or achieved in life. I try my best to reply to the queries and I hope all of you must be doing something similar. To my surprise one of the drivers wanted to know about Electric Vehicles and its benefits. If each of our family, can bring up one family to achieve a better station in life with education and good behavior, to me it is better than 100 visits to a Mandir!

Our TRP based media has no time for such stories; these are not success stories in their books because there is no drama, there is no excitement! There is no love triangle or there is no mayhem! It’s a straight forward information about a family who improved their lives in one generation. Who cares for TRP’s? Which is your favourite story one with the TRP’s or one we discussed, without TRP’s? Long Live India!

Oh My God!

Dive into depth of His trough of knowledge and achieve Nirvana!

Dios mío, Oh mein Gott, おやまあ, अरे देवा, हे भगवान. These are the expressions in different languages meaning the same thing. This obviously shows that in any and every culture, concept of God has been in existence for a very long time. What is God? Everybody’s concept, strength of belief about God is different. In fact it does depend on religion, faith but more on individual beliefs. That is why we have some staunch believers and a few who tend towards being atheists or rationalist!

To me God is a belief, and an unknown super power. This thought process is fortified by the some events that happen in the world where we don’t seem to have any control! I am not talking of only bad things, we have no control on good things too! In bad times, people mostly use God as a punching bag and good times are of course their own doing, their own competence, their own expertise! In such situations people forget that He is around!

How He came into being? In olden times when general knowledge of the populace was limited, any situation not understood, was act of God! Not that situation has changed much even today but with progress in scientific knowledge of humans, at least in some cases we are able to differentiate between natural phenomena, scientific achievement and of course Act of God! This act of God will continue till the end of the world, because there always will be many things on which humans will have no control.

To me God and things surrounding the thought of God are like the ocean. Our knowledge of the ocean and its behavior is very much limited to whatever we see near the sea shore. Similarly, our knowledge about Him is very superficial. In the sea our general activity is maybe up to 50 kms from the sea shore. I am not talking of large sea vessels which travel all over the world! These vessels are result of scientific knowledge put together by humans to overcome challenges of the ocean. These are very small in numbers. I will compare these with some Gurus who have studied in depth about Him and they can be compared with sea going large vessels, again very small in numbers. Even with large sea going vessels the mystery of Bermuda Triangle has never been resolved. Similarly His mysterious ways are also not understood by us.

On a day to day basis we have formed our rituals about Him. These cannot be really explained in logical or scientific terms. In Islam, there is practice of self-flagellation, in Hindus people walk bare foot long distances to visit a mandir, sometimes they crawl to a mandir. To some extent it is followed in Christianity too!  Why this is done? This is supposed to be penance for the deeds of the humans. But I always thought that the spirituality or the thought of God is within one’s mind, so what is achieved by physical penance is difficult to understand and follow. This practice is being followed for thousands of years and even today people do not want to apply scientific thought to such practices. People don’t want to challenge the old tradition that may not make sense today, because they are afraid of His wrath! Or are they afraid of orthodox people from the religious bodies to challenge such practices?

In many temples, even today, ladies are not allowed to enter! Because they are “impure”! One Mandir management in south India ran into a tricky situation. A law and Order situation got created in that Mandir and police arrived there led by a DCP! The DCP was a lady! They had no option but to allow a lady to enter! Many of the practices, rituals were creations of old times when situations were totally different. People and the so called holy leaders don’t want to change this for a simple reason that they will lose control! It is all about power, these rituals are ensured to create fear psychosis in the minds of the followers. How do you explain a guy riding a motorcycle paying his obeisance to Him, without even stopping his bike momentarily, releasing both his hands from the handle of the bike, not even slowing down! He is afraid that if he does not do his namaskar, His fury will destroy him! Is it so? Is He telling you to pay obeisance? It is in our mind hence we are doing it! Religious leaders are happy with this situation because they have achieved to keep fear going in the mind of the people.

Friends try to reach the depth of the ocean that is Him! Presently, all we are trying to do is water surfing, catching the fish, enjoying the swim near the shore! That may appear to be the ultimate thing to be achieved with Him! Go to the depths, where the ocean has lovely corals that we have never seen, ocean has mountains within its body of which we never even think of, ocean has many beautiful things hidden from us because we have never traversed its depth. In the same way, forget the flagellation, forget the fasting, and forget the crawling. Try to really understand His depth, without being afraid of Him. God is hardly bothered what you do for Him because ultimately He does what has decided about us, (Act of God!) our society and our world. Those depths will be really beautiful like the oceans. Reach them and you will achieve the Nirvana!

God Bless You! Que dios te bendiga! Gott beschütze dich! お大事に! देव तुझे भले करो! भगवान तेरा भला करे!

My Favorite Blog!

I started blogging very casually in the 2011, honestly I do not know why! It was more of a start and stop journey in which there were more stops! Post my health issues in late 2013 and early 2014 my frequency of writing improved. I publish my blogs on Word Press and wordpress helps one understand how to increase the reach of the blogs. Slowly I started incorporating those suggestions and I find that reasonable number of people read my blogs, some of them comment also. I have good friends who are my Critiques; we discuss why I write something and why I write in a certain way. They also point out important points that I miss out! This tête-à-tête with friends encourages my grey cells to become more active, helps me understand and accept different point of view.

 Out of 100 plus blogs I have written the most viewed blog, to my surprise is, “Paranormal behavior or “Angat Yene” or “Devi Ana” was published on 17th July 2017. This is a blog about my first experience of a known person suddenly going in trance, during a religious program at home. That lady was like you and me but the change in her behavior and persona happened in front of our eyes. She went into trance and was behaving in the way that can be described as paranormal. She came out of it when the religious chanting got over; she was sweating profusely and looked visibly tired! Question that comes to my mind, why this blog is most viewed? Is it because of the subject? Is it because the way I have written it? I don’t think so, I have not done anything special in this blog! Is it the curiosity? Is it that as human population we secretly want to understand what paranormal behavior is? Is it that people were hoping that I will explain the mystery? Honestly I have not understood this phenomena at all. I thought it will be good idea to retrospect and analyze my other blogs!

In the very early stages of my blog writing, I had written one piece called “These are the few of my favorite things”! Similarly I am trying to find out “Few of my favorite blogs”! I am going to select a few which I like the best and why I like them. I request you to give your opinion too! I have written the name of the blog and the date on which it was published. When you go to my blog page panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com you will see on the right side the list of recent posts and & archives. The details I have shared, will make it easy for you to locate old blogs should you want to read them!

“Dance of Civilization” was written on 19th January 2016, is my most favorite blog. It is tricky and is like trying to find out which is your favorite child? I am like Dhritarashtra, father of Kaurava’s who had 100 children, now I have 100 plus blogs! Why this is my favorite blog? I felt that I was able to make a proper mix of life’s small events with philosophy! Along with this, I was able to mix up view point of a small child; in fact they have no view point, they do what comes to their mind! This is the advantage of not having any “experience” in life! The child’s slate is a blank one and they will express what comes to their mind. This can be understood where I discussed the different ways of entering the Mandir! Rhea my grand daughter sometimes just did not want to enter the Mandir, she was more interested in drainage cover, she was interested in tearing up tree leaves that had fallen on the ground. She was more interested in jumping in the water puddle! She was keen to see how the crow was drinking water from the puddle! With our life’s “experiences” we become too rigid, too ritualistic and too stiff! In the blog I was able to compare the child’s view of life and the adult’s view!

“God! Where are you?” 10th March 2016 is a blog about how people believe more in rituals rather than achieving their goal! It’s about a group of people singing their hymns in a Mandir! Obviously they are trying to achieve peace of mind or maybe they were trying achieve Niravna! Two things in this world are really pure, the nature and the children! While trying to achieve their goal, the group was  disturbed by joyous shouting of kids! I feel that if I get to watch small kids enjoying their evening games, everyday, I will achieve Nirvana! Recently we achieved Nirvana by enjoying the nature at its best for about two weeks! What more do you need? I felt that this group of people had lost their path hence the title “God! Where are you?”

“Life’s Speed breakers” 15th October 2015. I always feel that people should share all their experiences with others. This blog is about the sudden detection of cancer in December 2013. My discussing all the events as if it was a third party event, I have tried to keep things impersonal. Even if a few of those who read this blog are benefited by this blog, in handling life’s difficult events, I will feel that I have achieved my goal. In tough situations, it is the positivity of the family and friends, quick actions, trying to get the best possible solution is the key. In case of issue like Cancer, Dr. Maiyya, my radiation Oncologist told me that Doctors, Equipment, Medicines do a play a major part but he felt that it may not be more than 60/65%. Balance is positive attitude of patient, family and friends. Luck of course also plays a major role! I have used a story format, telling date wise events to make it brisk and more readable by keeping the reader interested!

Parijatak उर्फ Nyctanthes arbor-tristis 5th November 2014. We look at many things in life but we never give thought to things in understanding that each living thing has its own usefulness and in case of flowers, its color and fragrance. I was able to get perfect simile where I could compare human traits with those of flowers. I have compared exotic flowers with highly skilled humans like pilots, engineers and doctors. Flowers like Parijatak are common folks like artisans, carpenters and nurses. But life is complete only when these two traits come together! I felt that sometimes we forget one of groups, depending on which group you are in. But I thought that I was able to explain how’s and whys of working together of Heliconia’s and Parijatak’s of this world!

From being grounded to going Sky high 8th June 2014. This blog is written more than three years back. During this phase I feel that I was becoming a better writer. The subject of this blog is an event from life where I changed home; I moved from a town house on the ground floor to a condominium on the 7th floor! This small change, made a great difference in my thought process and opened my mind to a much wider horizon which the seventh floor physically gave me. This maybe one of my smaller blogs but I was able put in a lot of thoughts in the blog. I was able to express a deep meaning in this blog. Probably my thoughts were also becoming more mature after recovery from health issue. In short, I have tried to say that every change in life is an opportunity!

Friends you must be wondering if I have written this blog because I have a writer’s block. No that is not the reason. Ever since I published the blog about Paranormal behavior, it is viewed everyday by sizable number of people; what is this phenomena? why this is so? Please read these other blogs also and give your comments! I would also love to know, if you read more than one blog, “Which you like the best”! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

100 Hundred शंभर सौ!

Thank You from bottom of my heart! Your encouragement is what really puts my blog writing in turbo charge mode!  Keep commenting, keep criticizing, keep liking too! 
धन्यवाद, आभार, Love you!

As I have reached  blog number 100, I am excited, apprehensive, and reflective. Many emotions come to mind, one definite one is surprise! I started writing in 2011, and expected that my stint as a person who can write, will be short lived as happens with most of things in our life. Now in 2017 I am reaching the milestone of 100 blogs.

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We start some activity with a great enthusiasm, we think that we are going to do this thing for ever and before you come to know, you have simply stopped doing it, not because you don’t want to do it but that is how life takes you around.  Since last three years my blog writing frequency has increased. All of us see something happening in our lives, a small episode in our day to day life, or a normal interaction with people. Afterwards, thoughts keep on meandering in mind about that event and inner thought process starts automatically. This chain of thoughts stops only when I write something.

It is said that humans age and wine matures!  But those close to me, say that I have aged but my writing has matured!  I feel that maturity in anything is a matter doing something regularly, or some event takes place which makes you more reflective in turn matures you. This is the difference in how I looked in 2011 and how I look now. I don’t know if by blogs written then and now look equally different! 

 

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I had never planned to be a blogger but it appears that after my Cancer treatment in 2013/14 my frequency of writing increased and I became a reasonably regular writer (though my professional work comes in the way even today!) My thoughts are more about human interactions, human reactions, human thinking and human nature. The event that induces me to write a blog could be taking my grand-daughter for small walk to a Mandir when she was two years old, or watching a lady suddenly going in a trance, reading about new tech products like Electric car being suddenly pushed hard by all.  My thinking in most cases looks into human aspect of the situation. Very few of my blogs are like an “article” which I recently wrote about GST implementation in India. Another subject that has kicked in a lot of thought processes in my mind are electric cars and non-conventional energy generation systems.

Events that stimulate my blog writing are of two types, divergent or convergent. Now let me explain. Some ideas are such that, in the beginning they look big, they look promising; but as I start writing, a very narrow thought or a conclusion comes out of it. These are convergent ideas for me. In case of divergent ideas, process is exactly reverse; I start with something very small but end with some idea which is universal and/or very big! 

Writing on different subjects needs a lot of study and has become much easier because of Internet. There is no dearth of information if one is willing to dig. When I started writing, it never touched my mind if anyone will ever read what I write. I would share my blogs with family and a few friends. Then I started understanding the techniques of sharing with others. A reasonable number people not known to me are followers of my blogs now. Later on I realized, that I can publish the blogs simultaneously on Facebook, Linked in and so on. I am also a member of a few groups on WhatsApp. I share my blog on these groups too! Out of curiosity I check the statistics that are available on WordPress site and I come to know how my blog has been “found”! It is found from search engines (Tagging helps!) on FB and so on. I also get to know the geographical locations where the blogs are “seen”. The main areas are naturally English speaking ones like US, Canada, Australia besides India but sometimes these are accessed even from Scandinavia or Eastern Europe countries! English speaking people from these places are doing this. Another information that I want to share is that in the whole year of 2014, I published 28 blogs and these were viewed by about 1000 people; till my last blog I have published 28 blogs in 2017 but the viewership is 3500! This does not mean that my blogs have suddenly become popular but I have improved the distribution! I have also observed that a couple of my friends from Facebook, share my blog with others. People give their comments on the blog itself or they send separate email to send comments. There are friends who prefer to call and discuss. My blog writing, comments, discussions also show that I am doing what I have been preaching! I have been saying, all the time in different blogs, please do something that will keep you reasonably busy during the course of the day, other than exercising, watching TV and time on Facebook/WhatsApp! I am also lucky that I love what I am doing.

My main criteria for publishing is that I myself should find the blog “readable”. My definition of “readable” is a bit stringent. If a person starts reading my blog then he should finish reading the blog in one go! Many of you have told me that my blogs are readable!

What next? Well in cricketing terms, I am taking fresh guard, will adjust my pads and will check my bat!  Next hundred should be possible in two years time. Frequency of my writing improved from 2014 and it took me about 3 1/2 years to reach 100. 2011 to 2013 were real baby steps! I think my blog theme will always be human relations and relationships! But it appears that I will pepper you folks in between on Solar Energy and Electric cars too!

Till then .. so long ! Thank You from bottom of my heart! Your encouragement is what really puts my blog writing in turbo charge mode!  Keep commenting, keep criticizing, keep liking too! 

धन्यवाद, आभार, Love you! 

 

 

 

Sorrrrry but what about my EGO!

I and my wife go every evening to drop off our grand-daughter to join a group of children who play, sing and have fun in general. The place has a small ground and a mandir. There are some benches kept on the premises, for people to enjoy their evening chit chat. Many senior citizens have their adda and discuss all the things in this world. It is a fun place.

There was a small incident yesterday. At the entrance, one of the young ladies, who drops of her child, parked her scooter in such a way that it caused inconvenience to people. A gentleman came and declared his displeasure at the inconvenience. The lady was around and the moment she realized her mistake, she said “Sir, I am really sorry, I sincerely apologize the inconvenience”! She removed the scooter and parked it properly. Matter ends!

No it does not end. Why? I used to think that saying Sorry is one of the tougher things in life, especially when you are young (though I personally do not have this problem) but I realized that some people find it even tougher to accept the apology gracefully!

Why the event did not end? The gentleman, instead of accepting the apology gracefully, kept on arguing “today you are saying sorry, tomorrow there will be someone else and so on”. What did this argument achieve? Nothing. The young lady kept on asking the gentleman, “Sir, first thing I did was to apologize and parked the scooter properly. Now what more do you want from me?” The same argument kept on going for some time. The gentleman really did not have anything worthwhile to argue but probably his ego came into picture.

Some senior ladies, who knew the young lady, came into picture. They kept on arguing the same thing with the gentleman but he just would not budge! The young lady got a bit emotional but through all this she kept her grace, always kept the respect for the senior person. Another five ten minutes of back and forth arguments, with no proverbial end of tunnel seen anywhere in the vicinity.

Then I called the young lady to come and sit by me on the bench. I explained to her that, even as early tomorrow morning, she will not remember this incident. She agreed but she was emotional and kept on saying the same thing. “When I apologized immediately why this gentleman keeps shouting at me?” Honestly I had no answer. But I explained to her that she had behaved gracefully and it showed her proper upbringing! Even under stress she kept due respect for the person all through his unreasonable behavior.I also explained to her that we see children behave and react differently to same situation. The same chidlren grow and become senior citizens. Some of them retain their childhood straits!

On the lighter side, had this happened in the wild west in the USA, 200 years back, there would have been a duel and one of them would be dead! I hear that Wild West is still exists in northern India! I have read of people being killed for lesser reasons!

Friends the jury is still out, let me know your say!