We all know the second part of the sentence; “The tough get going”! We are living in extraordinary times, and we will give an exceptional response to the situation! I am confident about it. The subject came into my mind when I read a lot of exchange on the WA group of a coop housing society, where I have a home, but currently our house there is locked, and we live elsewhere. Most of the people living there are high earning professionals who must be reasonably senior by now. We moved out from there end of 2013!
I read an apt comment from my young friend Sandeep. He said that it is a great opportunity to show the world that the husband/wife pair is “MAID” for each other. I added this sentence by editing this blog which was already published!
The subject was about the maids that come and work in the homes. Under Coronavirus threat, and curfew declared by the governments, most of these maids may not be able to go for work. The reasons can be the fear of the curfew declared. They are afraid of the police, and their neighbours are forcing them not to go. By no means, their services can be declared as essential services, like police, cleaning staff, hospital staff. One of our housemaids came yesterday. Her neighbours would not allow her to go out for work. She cheated and came; she was worried about her wages. Jaya told her that we would pay her even if she does not come for work. She asked Jaya when are they stopping all the flights? Jaya asked her the reason to know this. She said, “People in our area say that unless the flights are banned, this epidemic will not go. But these are for rich people. How will the government stop them?” Another question she asked was, will she be safe if she goes and lives in her native place? Jaya asked her, “How will you get treatment in her native place if required?” She was confused but more worried. The bais as the maids are called are poor confused souls. Their life weaves around the families where they work. It is for money, any other stuff that we give them, moral support and knowledge. They are entirely dependent on us. Let me assure they want to come to work but …!
Let me share with you friends, the extraordinary situations that came up in my life. In 1980-81 Jaya got a United Nations fellowship for MS in the US. My son Sachin was six years old. I was around 30. As a family, we decided that Jaya should take this opportunity, and off she went. My parents lived nearby; we would go for food at their home. My father was very fond of Sachin. He would look after him till I came back from office. My father died suddenly after about three months of Jaya’s travel. But I told Jaya to continue with her education. We somehow managed to handle the situation; my mother overcame her grief to support the family. Extraordinary response from the family helped Jaya finish her MS with flying colours in nine months with 4.0 score!
We read so many stories of children from very low-income family clearing their IAS/IFS and such competitive exams. I will share one story. In the apartment where I lived initially, we had a family of two brothers. One of them was our watchman. Other brother used to work on construction sites. They had two children each. Watchman’s brother died in mid-nineties. Both their wives used to work in our house as support staff. I have watched their lives from close for twenty plus years. Last year somehow, we got their cell number. Jaya called them. Next day the whole family came to meet us. The wives continue to work as maids elsewhere. The watchman did farming in his native place and had some income. He would travel to his farm when required. The ladies came with two younger children. Both had become engineers were working in IT companies; the family had struggled all their lives.
Some of these thoughts came to mind as I have been reading and hearing about discussions on various WA groups. These were mainly about everybody staying at home, managing the cooking, with children at home 24/7- how long nobody is sure. Ladies are naturally stressed out because usual conventions indicate that they will have to bear the full brunt of things at home. Compared to the difficulties of the family mentioned above, I thought that we are better off. We do not have financial worries. We generally do not have to worry about water supply and electricity. The absence of maids could be stressful. But these extraordinary situations call for similar solutions. Equally busy husbands should raise their hands up and declare what responsibilities they are going to handle until this situation lasts. Or is it? Why not continue in the same vein even after humans overcome the current pandemic?
Let us not say that these things could be done by mothers only! Fathers could be equally efficient and proficient in attending PTA meetings! Why should fathers not take up morning chores like breakfast and chai-coffee? We should change the way we think. We are busy in the mornings with phone calls, emails, sending children to school and so on; you finish your dinner at night. Why not pack your tiffins at night? Is it not more efficient? You are going to keep the remaining food into some containers. Fill up the tiffins (dabbas) and then transfer balance food into containers! You are a professional and an expert. Show the same efficiency at home. Make sure that inventories are perfect at home, same as you manage at the office. Life becomes easier. Your star performer meets with an accident and is going to be away for six months. How do you handle it? You have your replacement star performers at home too! The hubby and the kids! It’s tough, but it is doable.
Consider a case of our neighbour who is seventy. She had a heart valve replacement surgery, 2 ½ months back, where all her ribs had to be cut open. Recovery time is five to six months at this age. Now suddenly, her nurse and the maid may not be able to come. They are trying to get permission at least for the nurse, which I am sure she will get. What must be her mental state? How is she going to manage? Her son lives out of India, and the daughter lives nearby. She must look after her children and old inlaws. Solution? I am not so sure. She must quarantine herself from neighbours like us too! Her immunity must be down post-surgery.
In 2013 December, I moved out of Sunshine Villa for family reasons. But the main reason was that I was detected with Cancer. There were practical reasons to move next to my daughter’s home. After three months of 34 radiation sittings, and Immunotherapy, I moved back to my routine in about three months. The “free” time I got during this period converted me into a blogger! In July, I had a Bharat Darshan tour to meet my customers. After that, I have been working hard and travelling well abroad as well as in India. It is possible to surmount odds. It is tough, but “The tough get going when the going gets tough!”
Friends, it is tough to change your lifestyle suddenly. But when there is no option, we do it. You will spend more time with your children. They will know what difficulties the mother’s face. That is a great learning curve for the whole family. Thanks to dear Coronavirus!