Me Too!

When will the society learn to give women their due?

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The “Me Too” movement (or “#MeToo“, with local alternatives in other languages) spread virally in October 2017 as a hashtag used on social media to help demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace. It followed soon after the public revelations of sexual misconduct allegations against Harvey Weinstein. From the time of Adam, women have had to face many difficulties in simple process of living! What was their fault? Their body, hence their psyche put them under tremendous pressure. As the girl child crossed the puberty, the life became even more miserable. Girl child was made aware of their breasts which grew with age. I feel that the only reason to make them more miserable was, the so called weak sex could be raped and were always afraid of getting pregnant after rape. OK, things are not so bad today but they have also not improved much. What used to be done openly a few centuries back, is now being done discretely. Mind you, even today 3 or 4-year-old babies fall prey to such horrendous acts. 

We hear many things about women’s liberation, their going forward in life, their becoming top bosses, Prime Ministers, Presidents, Pilots and so on. But this number is miniscule. I am sure all these top end ladies also had to undergo shameful acts of certain males, to some extent, till they reached a certain level in their careers. What is it that leads to such situations? From childhood, the girl child is always disciplined to be docile, there are restrictions put on them; a non-conforming girl child is called Tom Boy! Behaviour patterns of boys and girls are predefined, boys can do what they want but girl will be told to behave when she performs similar mischief. It starts with their clothing. When a girl child enters a certain age, she is always instructed about her modesty; she is expected to sit in such a way that her underclothing will not be revealed. Ultimately, everything boils down to girl’s or woman’s sex! 

Look at the way women are stereotyped. A man goes to a lawyer’s office and is told by her colleague, that the concerned lawyer will come in ten minutes. After ten minutes, a lady enters the office. Our man tells the lady, ” Honey, could you get me some coffee?” She says, “Sure, I will get it from the machine.” She comes back and gives him the coffee. She tells him, “That’s 52 dollars”. The man is surprised and says, ” How so?” She says, “2 dollars for the coffee and 50 dollars is my fee. I the lawyer”. Forget the funny part but people just assume that lady in the office must be a receptionist!  

Whatever people may say, women have to bear pressures in their day to day lives. When there is some funny situation in a movie or somebody cracks a joke, men will laugh loudly and while doing so throw their head back; but women almost will never do that! What they will do is put a hand in front of their mouth, put their head down and smile! Why? They are trained to do so from beginning of their lives, they are trained to be docile. They cannot even laugh whole heartedly! That is because they are trained to please others from childhood! Women it seems, always think negatively about themselves! Talk of money matters in family and they will say it is my father’s job or my husband’s job! The ladies are always described as sacrificing, suffering, not achieving their dreams! They will never talk of leadership quality! In today’s world, you will observe some women are “like men” in many individual straits, work wise, but they have had to work really hard to achieve this. I have known of examples of a lady professional, in higher echelons technology industry. She has rarely met ladies at senior levels during her globe-trotting. This is true in USA, Europe and developed Asian countries.  

Women were considered second citizens and started getting voting rights in the beginning of last century. A modern country like Switzerland gave them voting rights in 60’s. In Middle Eastern countries, they started getting their voting rights in 90’s. As recently as 2017, women were not allowed to drive cars in Saudi Arabia! In general the treatment given to women has been terrible and shoddy all these years and continues even today!

How is “Me Too” progressing world over? Except USA, there hardly appears to be any progress in other countries including India, that too in professional arena. We in India,  have large number of lady professionals in various fields. This encompasses all professions from Films to Rockets, Pilots to Technology, Banking to Armed forces! Not a single organized “Me Too” activity is seen or heard anywhere. Do we mean to say that they never faced any problems? What about the “Casting Couch”  that we hear about! Do we mean to say that Indian men are next to God and have treated the ladies around them with great respect? I hope we remember Nirbhaya! It was an extreme case of brutality but thought process was the same; women are objects of desire! I read a statistic somewhere that more than 70 % of rapes are by relatives or people in close contact with the family! This indicates the raw thought process in our society! God knows how many such rapes are not even reported!  

Why does this happen? What is the solution? What is the way forward? There is some progress in organized sector which have formal committees to handle harassments discretely. But what about homes! We have culture in many states in India where women are just live, they have no rights, they have no say in anything, they will be forced to do what they are told. I read in a Pune newspaper yesterday. A girl overcame family poverty and resistance to study. She stood first in the state competitive exam called MTS. She wants to become an IAS or IFS officer. What did her father  tell the reporters? No more education for her; education spoils them and they behave indecently. She should now take up the profession of a seamstress like her mother is doing all her life!  

How can this change? We talk of thousands of years of old culture in India but in the year 2018 we want to apply those same laws and thought processes of the olden days when we were all primitives! (In thoughts, majority are still primitive even today) Winners used to  take all women, the weak sex! It may not happen so openly today, but behind office cultures, in universities it keeps on  happening. Unless a big turmoil takes place in thought process by women in India, unless ladies openly start our own “Me too” which may be called “मैं भी” movement, situation will continue to be in the same way. It is for liberal thinking families to encourage their girl child to act in such a way that they should feel equal to the male child, still retaining all the beautiful female traits!  Let us not forget that this beautiful world is made up of both men and women. Girls and boys! Let us all create harmony between them in such a way that we live a much better but “real modern” world, where thinking is modern and not only the dress sense!  

My Favorite Blog!

I started blogging very casually in the 2011, honestly I do not know why! It was more of a start and stop journey in which there were more stops! Post my health issues in late 2013 and early 2014 my frequency of writing improved. I publish my blogs on Word Press and wordpress helps one understand how to increase the reach of the blogs. Slowly I started incorporating those suggestions and I find that reasonable number of people read my blogs, some of them comment also. I have good friends who are my Critiques; we discuss why I write something and why I write in a certain way. They also point out important points that I miss out! This tête-à-tête with friends encourages my grey cells to become more active, helps me understand and accept different point of view.

 Out of 100 plus blogs I have written the most viewed blog, to my surprise is, “Paranormal behavior or “Angat Yene” or “Devi Ana” was published on 17th July 2017. This is a blog about my first experience of a known person suddenly going in trance, during a religious program at home. That lady was like you and me but the change in her behavior and persona happened in front of our eyes. She went into trance and was behaving in the way that can be described as paranormal. She came out of it when the religious chanting got over; she was sweating profusely and looked visibly tired! Question that comes to my mind, why this blog is most viewed? Is it because of the subject? Is it because the way I have written it? I don’t think so, I have not done anything special in this blog! Is it the curiosity? Is it that as human population we secretly want to understand what paranormal behavior is? Is it that people were hoping that I will explain the mystery? Honestly I have not understood this phenomena at all. I thought it will be good idea to retrospect and analyze my other blogs!

In the very early stages of my blog writing, I had written one piece called “These are the few of my favorite things”! Similarly I am trying to find out “Few of my favorite blogs”! I am going to select a few which I like the best and why I like them. I request you to give your opinion too! I have written the name of the blog and the date on which it was published. When you go to my blog page panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com you will see on the right side the list of recent posts and & archives. The details I have shared, will make it easy for you to locate old blogs should you want to read them!

“Dance of Civilization” was written on 19th January 2016, is my most favorite blog. It is tricky and is like trying to find out which is your favorite child? I am like Dhritarashtra, father of Kaurava’s who had 100 children, now I have 100 plus blogs! Why this is my favorite blog? I felt that I was able to make a proper mix of life’s small events with philosophy! Along with this, I was able to mix up view point of a small child; in fact they have no view point, they do what comes to their mind! This is the advantage of not having any “experience” in life! The child’s slate is a blank one and they will express what comes to their mind. This can be understood where I discussed the different ways of entering the Mandir! Rhea my grand daughter sometimes just did not want to enter the Mandir, she was more interested in drainage cover, she was interested in tearing up tree leaves that had fallen on the ground. She was more interested in jumping in the water puddle! She was keen to see how the crow was drinking water from the puddle! With our life’s “experiences” we become too rigid, too ritualistic and too stiff! In the blog I was able to compare the child’s view of life and the adult’s view!

“God! Where are you?” 10th March 2016 is a blog about how people believe more in rituals rather than achieving their goal! It’s about a group of people singing their hymns in a Mandir! Obviously they are trying to achieve peace of mind or maybe they were trying achieve Niravna! Two things in this world are really pure, the nature and the children! While trying to achieve their goal, the group was  disturbed by joyous shouting of kids! I feel that if I get to watch small kids enjoying their evening games, everyday, I will achieve Nirvana! Recently we achieved Nirvana by enjoying the nature at its best for about two weeks! What more do you need? I felt that this group of people had lost their path hence the title “God! Where are you?”

“Life’s Speed breakers” 15th October 2015. I always feel that people should share all their experiences with others. This blog is about the sudden detection of cancer in December 2013. My discussing all the events as if it was a third party event, I have tried to keep things impersonal. Even if a few of those who read this blog are benefited by this blog, in handling life’s difficult events, I will feel that I have achieved my goal. In tough situations, it is the positivity of the family and friends, quick actions, trying to get the best possible solution is the key. In case of issue like Cancer, Dr. Maiyya, my radiation Oncologist told me that Doctors, Equipment, Medicines do a play a major part but he felt that it may not be more than 60/65%. Balance is positive attitude of patient, family and friends. Luck of course also plays a major role! I have used a story format, telling date wise events to make it brisk and more readable by keeping the reader interested!

Parijatak उर्फ Nyctanthes arbor-tristis 5th November 2014. We look at many things in life but we never give thought to things in understanding that each living thing has its own usefulness and in case of flowers, its color and fragrance. I was able to get perfect simile where I could compare human traits with those of flowers. I have compared exotic flowers with highly skilled humans like pilots, engineers and doctors. Flowers like Parijatak are common folks like artisans, carpenters and nurses. But life is complete only when these two traits come together! I felt that sometimes we forget one of groups, depending on which group you are in. But I thought that I was able to explain how’s and whys of working together of Heliconia’s and Parijatak’s of this world!

From being grounded to going Sky high 8th June 2014. This blog is written more than three years back. During this phase I feel that I was becoming a better writer. The subject of this blog is an event from life where I changed home; I moved from a town house on the ground floor to a condominium on the 7th floor! This small change, made a great difference in my thought process and opened my mind to a much wider horizon which the seventh floor physically gave me. This maybe one of my smaller blogs but I was able put in a lot of thoughts in the blog. I was able to express a deep meaning in this blog. Probably my thoughts were also becoming more mature after recovery from health issue. In short, I have tried to say that every change in life is an opportunity!

Friends you must be wondering if I have written this blog because I have a writer’s block. No that is not the reason. Ever since I published the blog about Paranormal behavior, it is viewed everyday by sizable number of people; what is this phenomena? why this is so? Please read these other blogs also and give your comments! I would also love to know, if you read more than one blog, “Which you like the best”!