The term resonance is taken from physics to describe a subject-object relationship as a vibrating system in which both sides mutually stimulate each other. In contrast to the physics meaning of the word, however, in the social context, they do not merely return the received sound, but speak “with their own voice”. In mammals, resonance is about reciprocating to each other in the interpersonal relationships.
What does the term “Open the doors for others mean?” You are going from room A to room B. There is a door in between. The social protocol says that the males to open the door for ladies. But I feel that anybody may open the door. What the act shows is that the person opening the door has his/her heart in the right place. It is a small gesture but it shows that the person opening the door is thoughtful about the other person. While opening the door, the person forgets that he is a CEO or an owner of big business. A guest has come to you, and you show the courtesy. It is like courtesy shown by artists who get a standing ovation after a performance. The artist or the sportsperson could be world-famous. But they acknowledge that it is the crowd appreciating them gives them fame.
Another example of resonance is seen when a child is born. Immediately after birth, the nurse keeps the child on the mother’s chest; this is while other procedures get completed. That closeness forms a bond and creates a life-long resonance between the mother and the child. The heartbeats of both mother and child are etched on each other’s memories and stay there life-long. The emotional bond that forms during that moment runs until the end. Mother and child relationship is the ultimate of resonance created between two humans- and mammals in general.
Another close relationship is between husband and wife. Once the honeymoon period is over, the routine life starts. Life gets crazy and hectic — both of them doing their emotional bidding to each other. They do it by sending a quick message by sharing their opinion through eye contact, or a nod. It could be a quick kiss or by pat on the back. The bidding is telling each other, “We are not able to spend enough time with each other. But I love you.” The couples who do not understand this emotional bidding may run into marital problems which could lead to divorce. According to some studies, the couples who acknowledge 90% of this bidding lead a hectic but lovely life. But when this percentage goes down to 30%, the situation is in a tailspin.
The person who wants to open the door for others is likely to be an open-minded person. That person will never be lonely. She will have more friends. The small things they do in day to day life, show their traits. But in such persons, the thought comes from within the heart instantaneously. I will share a simple example. The other day I was walking on a road. A person about fifteen years senior to me was trying to cross the street. From a little distance, I observed his difficulty and hesitation. The moment I reached him, I asked him, “Sir, is it okay if I help you to cross the street?” He was waiting for someone to help him. He was sending a signal to society in general. His message resonated with me. If you ask why I helped him, I have no answer. It just came from within my heart. I am born that way; I have been into such small acts since my childhood. Honestly, it is no big deal. Maybe I like to open the door for others.
Those people who follow the game of Cricket will understand what I am saying next. A bowler bowls a ball and Rohit Sharma swings his bat. There is a sweet sound of the leather hitting the wood. In a few moments, the ball is flying in a high trajectory, falls deep inside the stands where spectators are sitting, and why does this happen? Why does it look effortless? It is because of the timing.
To resonate with others, we need to connect when it matters. The act nurtures both us and others and also earns trust. Just as in cooking, timing is everything. In daal Tadka, it is when you give Tadka that brings the perfect taste. When you make a fluffy omelette, unless you provide the right time for it to become fluffy, you will not achieve the result.
Same is true while opening the door for others. You are climbing the stairs, somebody in front of you has hands full. On reaching the lobby, you sneak ahead of that person to open the door! Are you going to let him put all the stuff down so that he can open the door himself? You sneak ahead and open that metaphorical door. But he wants to go to the floor above you. Are you going to bang the door because you feel cheated? He did not ask you to open the door in the first place. When you open that door, don’t expect him to thank you! He may even thank you, but that is beside the point. Are you performing a kind act so that the person says thanks to you? You do it because you are an inherently good person. Such behaviour by more people makes society kinder. People resonate with each other! Like when we talk of the resonance of sound in Physics, the timing makes reach the crescendo at the right time. Holding a door open at the right time represents tending to a perceived need and meeting expectations.
All people want to be understood and appreciated. By connecting in this way, they trust that you know them, and are looking out for their interests. You are attentive and willing to open doors for them. The power of resonance will keep you happy and healthy and open doors for you.
Friends, look for an opportunity to resonate in every interaction. The world is full of good people, but let people understand that you are contributing to this goodness. Such behaviour is infectious. Keep opening the doors. More and more doors will open for you automatically.