Nurture!

Nurture

The other day my friend Sudhakar had come for a chat and we spent some quality time together. In our home, we have a plaque given by the organization called “Nurture” to Jaya.  Sudhakar saw this plaque and asked about the same. Jaya helps through this organization, startups in Pune, nurtures them, hand holds them. Like the child is let go while learning to ride a bike, at some stage she lets them go. Some organizations sore high in the sky, some fall and try to rise again. It is the nurturing done that is important.  

The word just lingered in my mind and I kept on thinking about it, its meaning, its origin and got a feeling how appropriate this word is! English is an interesting language, sometimes the English words, define or explain the meaning perfectly whereas sometimes they are vague.     

The origin of this word Nurture is from old French noureture, “nourishment”; based on Latin nutrire “feed or cherish”.  

As a verb it means to take care of, feed, and protect someone or something, especially young children or plants, and help him, her, or it to develop,  to help a plan to be successful. Modern dictionary may add the new meaning about helping of modern day startups, to grow from their babyhood to a successful organization. As a noun, it means the way in which children are treated as they are growing, especially as compared with the characteristics they are born with. This can apply equally to young startups to young professional.   

Jaya has helped many startups,  as technical social work;  there is success story  about a person with PhD in Chemical engineering. He had developed many products to improve agriculture productivity. As normally happens, he was very proud of the products he had developed. When he met Jaya, he was struggling with business. When Jaya told him to concentrate initially, on one product, he was not very happy; he wanted to dabble in all the products together, those were his creations. But after sometime, he realized the meaning of what Jaya told him. He came up with his best product and started concentrating on the same. He was a brilliant scientist and a hard worker. He needed nurturing, he needed hand holding. Rest as they say is history. Recently UNESCO has given him a large grant to spread the use of his products in technologically extremely backward African countries. I think his role will also be to nurture their farmers! The baton has passed on!  

This keeps on happening in the world. The goodness keeps on spreading. The baton keeps on passing. This also keeps on happening about good deeds that everybody keeps on doing. When you help someone, you should never expect anything in return. The good Samaritans of this world never do it. What I have seen is that the good deeds pass around in an open circle. The person who has been helped, always remembers the good deed, he may not return the gesture to the same person who helped him but he will do it to the next person, as soon as he gets the opportunity. 

I am sure the same is true with Nurture. I am now talking about the verb. If a person is nurtured, in later stage of the career he or she will nurture some persons and the chain will continue. We humans have been nurturing our children, our trees since long. It is natural for a person to nurture someone who needs it. In humans, the need for nurturing is much more compared to animals or trees. Babies in humans need nurturing for maybe up to 20 years. But in case of other species or fauna, this period is much smaller. Is this because we humans think, talk and have a much smarter brain? It is also because other species need to develop skills only to gather food and survive in the world. Many skill sets that humans learn, are not needed by them.  

There is always a debate going on about nature versus nurture. How a plant looks or how a human behaves, how the human develops, depends on the genes. A rose plant and its flowers are beautiful as per genes but they really bloom when they are nurtured. An Alphonso Mango is the king of fruits but to develop and grow Mango orchards is the long process of many years. We see the result of the long efforts taken by someone. That person has nurtured them, has given them water at the right time, has taken care their health. In some cases, business may be involved and, in some cases, it may be personal. Similarly, when we nurture humans it could be sometimes at a fee but then I would not call it nurture, I would call it consulting fees!  

At the end of the day, what do you expect when you nurture something. You want to see beautiful flowers blooming, lovely fruits hanging on the trees, a confident, smart and successful person handling his or her profession smartly. When we are happy with well nurtured plants, we say, “Hey why not come and see my Roses? Why not see my Bonsai?” Similarly, you feel happy, elated when the person nurtured by you looks good, successful, competent and confident. That is time when you know that time has come to let go and enjoy  them shout, “Mumma, see no hands!” The person you have nurtured is now riding the bicycle or the destiny,  on own!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Home Alone !

The other day while chatting with some friends, a friend used a term Home Alone or something similar! The reference was about someone, whose all three children live in US, Germany and Australia. He used a phrase that was contradictory. “You two must be alone here as all your children live in foreign countries”! How can two people be alone is the question that came to mind. A person is called alone when he has no one! But can any person be without anyone? 

The fact that a person was born means at least two people were involved in the process. My theory is that no one is alone. Alone, loneliness is a state of mind and not physical. When the friend made the statement mentioned above, it was contradictory. When husband and wife are together they cannot be alone! They are a couple who have spent their life together. As against this, a person lives with spouse, children, their family and relatives but still can be alone. But this may be better described by word lonely! When we are born, we come in this world alone and when we pass, we go alone! These are probably only events when one is alone.  

At birth, every child is alone in this world as the child does not know anything, understands nothing. This happens in all the species. Some nurture their babies, bring them to a stage where they are slowly able to manage and handle  the world. Time required to achieve this independence varies from species to species. Only in human race, because the child has to pick up a lot of skills, we look after our progeny almost for first 19/20 years of life. During this period, we learn a lot of social skills, we develop a lot of friends and acquaintances. This obviously gets developed into every person’s ecosystem. Of course, there is a possibility that the ecosystem may shrink over a period if one lives way beyond normal life expectancy and this can happen in late phase of golden age.  

Some are born extroverts and some are born introverts. Those who are introverts can have lesser company of people over their life-time. I am confident that they are definitely not lonely, it is the way they are made. Introverts may be happy to have less people around whereas extroverts will be happier with more people around. The so called lonely exist because of certain health issues like depression or major illness. These issues need medical treatment. Another reason the loneliness can arise is because of certain different traits in one’s nature. Some are very uncomfortable meeting new people whereas some are looking forward to meeting new people; it is their elixir! Some have inferiority complex because of the way they look, the family where they are born and so on. But generally people look for good traits in an individual rather than their physical side. Those with such trait can become lonely.

Loneliness is a state of mind created due to some event or an illness. This state of mind creates a poison within you! It is like bile generated within you. You feel better only when the bile is vomited out. Similarly, we must make an attempt to throw the poison of loneliness out of the system.  Most of the time, the state of mind is created due to misunderstanding; this can also happen due to not understanding or knowing the right circumstances.  

I found a beautiful poem, about loneliness,  on the net. 

If tonight you feel alone wondering 

If anywhere anyone 

Could possibly be missing you 

Just know that if they do not miss you 

It is because they do not know you 

And have not seen the incredible beauty in you 

This poem correctly depicts the situation which arises by not knowing the facts! 

Friends, I veered from a casual remark made by someone, “You two will be alone, is it not?” The technology which is available now is the greatest boon to mankind. How it has brought people closer and together? How family living in different parts of the world can be close to each other due to technology? Alumni Associations, different WhatsApp groups, Facebook have done miracles in the lives of people! But will all this really help if your mind is not open? This technology has created some funny situations of loneliness where someone with 1000 FB friends does not know his neighbours.  

So, keep yourself and your mind open; even after trying this if you still feel lonely go and see a doctor and get yourself treated! After all one can take horse to the water, he will remain thirsty if he does not drink it. You can still be lonely in Sea of People!

 

 

 

 

True & False -Smart & a Half Species!

What is truth? It is a real question that has to be looked at the way our Universe performs. Whatever Universe does is flawless. Why it is flawless, because it always follows rules, it always follows the path of truth. Do we see any accidents in the Universe as we see on our own earth? Do the Sun and the Moon ever ram into each other? At the end of every day, you always get the night and never a day! Why? Because rules are followed to the last T! Do birds wake up at midnight? Never because they follow the rules. They go “home” at the pre decided time which is set by the nature and go to sleep to wake up early morning again as per rules set by the nature. In winter I see birds flying back to their nest maybe at 5.45 in the evening but in summer they fly back at 6.45 in the evening, again following the rules of nature as the days are longer in summer. Classic case of nature’s rules being followed is by Polar Bears. It is a recorded fact that all the Polar Bears in a certain area go into winter hibernation sleep exactly at the same time on the same day!

If we compare adjectives “True” and “False” then true fits the Universe and the only species that fits false in this Universe, is the human race. Truth depicts the Universe and Falsehood depicts the human race. The Universe is existing for millions of years and the time for which the human race exists is blip on that time scale. Human race has evolved from the same eco system as the Universe. But why the human race is so different in comparison with other species!

Is it the evolution of brain? Is it the evolution of physical attributes like being able to walk on two limbs! Is it because humans are the only species who can make use of thumbs of their hands. If we think of brain and body coordination monkeys are way ahead of humans. But what is it that has made humans different- not better! What is the reason behind human deceit? How this attribute is so much developed? From where has this trait evolved? I am not an anthropologist but I am sure studies have been made to study the evolution of human attribute of deceit.

Survival of the fittest has been the motto of the Universe. Right from the beginning, there have been fights on “ownership” of the Eve, later on other “assets” came into picture. In all other species, this is decided by fighting amongst each other to decide. Human society has evolved over a period of time, and has created a system of marriage (trying to follow rules?). Yes rules are broken in the marriage system also but maybe the percentage of rule breakers is still manageable. How do they manage divorce in monkeys or lions? Or they don’t have system of divorce!

Human race has made great progress compared to other species. Is falsehood the attribute needed for progress? I know of attributes like drive, passion, thinking out of box that help one to go ahead of others but human species has a special attribute of falsehood or deceit which is not present in other species. Humans deceive, cheat and in general try to break rules where possible. A lion catches a deer as his prey and will eat till his stomach is full. He will walk away once he is full. A cat will drink milk but when it is done, it will just walk away. We humans also follow rules in initial phase of our life. A child will normally never over eat. The child just refuses to eat when full. But the mother of the child will always think that the child is eating less, and she will force more food than needed. End result the child will vomit.

What is it with breaking of rules? Humans will break rules while driving, while paying his taxes, while he is wooing his fiancée, in short at every stage in life if possible rules are broken. In some countries this percentage is less because Government is more vigilant! We really don’t know if it is necessary to break rules to achieve something. A businessman friend of mine, once showed me the calculation how he could make a lot of money by cheating on paying income tax. A month after this discussion, his whole family was raided by income tax department at 7 am. I met him a couple of days after the raid. He was very sad, naturally! After some time he said that he was very sad. I said that I can understand. He said he was not sad because of the raid. “Expense” for raid was budgeted for. But he was sad because his mother asked him a question, “When we have so much why you are cheating?” He had no answer and that made him sad. Ultimately we have to answer to HIM if not to your own mother (who anyway is GOD), is it not? I always keep on thinking how the world will be, if nobody breaks rules? Is it my utopian thinking?