Nakoshi means unwanted. You will not believe it, but it is a name given to a newborn girl child in rural areas of Maharashtra. Why Nakoshi? The age-old system of patriarchy is still quite predominant in our culture. In many homes, people are happy when a male child is born. This thought process had come from the time when work at home was distributed amongst males and females; males would perform outside heavy work like gathering food and fighting with enemies. Females would do the work of cooking and look after the children.
This led to the thinking that the male child was at the top of the family pecking order. All the benefits, love and what have you, was given to the male child. The male child has always been considered the heirloom of the family assets. The girl child was always given low importance. Not much has changed even today.
In my previous blog, I had written about the law to increase the marriage age of girls.
https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2021/12/19/i-oppose/
Reading more expert comments on the subject, I felt that I should write some more on the subject of marriage age.
The thoughts about girls being married early are firmly embedded in our mindsets. Even many organisations looking after the well-being of ladies have opposed this law. These organisations expect the governments to do something that will change the mindset of people. How can governments change their mindset? They can provide infrastructure like schools, toilets in village schools.
If we go back to naming the girl child, the names show the thought process in people’s minds. Rajasthan is one the most backward state in this regard. Some of the sample names given to the girl child are Dhapu (meaning- we the parents are fed up girls being born), Haichuki (means enough), Antima (Hopefully the last), Ramnari (hey Ram, how many more girls are you going to give us?). Imagine if you have to live through your life with such horrible names.
India’s population remains uncontrolled because the parents looking for a male child keep on trying till 4th/5th or even 6th child, till the male child is born. All the girls born till then are “unwanted”.
The marriage age was increased from 16 to 18 in 1978. But the “experts” generally think negatively about the results of any such actions. An expert referred to the National Family Health Survey in her article. She said the survey brought out a dismal fact that 40 years later in, 2020, we still have an alarming rate of 23% of child marriage. The government made the rules, but is it realistic to expect the government to do the policing? Whose responsibility is it? Frankly, nobody is directly responsible. Despite their independence from the government, many NGOs rely heavily on government funding to function. Then are the NGO’s working in these areas not accountable? What contribution have they made in this field? Years ago, Sanjay Gandhi had tried to push the government policy to bring the population under control. It was done by forcing the Vasectomy in some regions of Northern India. The general populace hated this coercive action, which had to be stopped. The same thing will happen if the government agencies force the marriage age implementation. It is a rock and hard face situation for the government.
Some organisations claim that people will misuse this law with the help of government functionaries. Since child marriage is deeply entrenched in the minds of people in society, parents will restrict the autonomy of young girls and penalise them for their sexual choices. This will be done with the active collaboration of state functionaries. These organisations are working in the area to help society overcome wrong things. Then why are they so negative in the thought process? They should be suggesting ways to avoid bad things. Instead, they are talking negatively about how this will not work. When doing social work using government funds, should they not support positive government actions? Should they not try to see that such collaborations do not happen? The same problems must have been existing when the legal age was 16!
Another issue they have raised is that if the girl is married below legal age and faces some marital problems, the husband will claim that their marriage is illegal; hence the girl will be devoid of her rights. Oh, come on! To begin with, the girls’ parents and her husband are equally culpable for such marriages, and these experts claim that the husband will shirk his responsibility. Should authorities not act against these people? But again, in our society, this has been happening for a long time. It has nothing to do with increasing the legal age of marriage.
The government should improve the educational and health infrastructure for the girl child is correct. But this takes time. It cannot happen overnight. Governments like Maharashtra have taken up one exciting project. The kids named “nakoshi” are generally found in rural areas. The kids do not even know their rights. The governments have been active with a scheme for girls who cross puberty age and mature. The government officials like Talathi would reach these girls and help them change their horrible name of “nakoshi”! At least by having a common girl name, these girls became more confident in life. Imagine moving around this world with the names “nakoshi,” Haichuki or Antima! The unwanted girls!
The work in this area is the responsibility of all-the government, the NGO’s, the parents and society in general. You get the right to criticise the government only if you have taken the responsibility of, say, ten households in rural areas to encourage the girls to go to school. Have you taught the girls about the science of their menstrual cycles? Have you taken the responsibility of at least one girl child to complete her education? Giving speeches and writing articles does not change society to the extent we want. Yes, it does help to the same extent as the increase in marriage age helps. Do not forget that we should all be partners with the government, and politics does not have any role to play.
Don’t forget that women can be equally good or even better leaders. So don’t preach, act! Ask the question- what have I done for society before questioning the government!
Pramod's Blog 
It is a sad reality that even in Twenty-first Century most of Indians hate to have Girl Child and they discourage educating Girls leave alone, allowing Girls to become Independent. Getting Girls married earliest is prime Goal not of only Rural but most of Urban Indians.
While education will certainly help in development of Girls, increasing age for marriage to 21 years will subsequently lead to Women empowerment which is so important for Nation building.
Let us hope Government is able to enforce the marriageable age of Women to Twenty one years thus provide opportunity for Girl development and independence.
World over, we have seen that Countries and Societies where Women work along with Men have Prospered and Developed.