I had written a blog on the subject of “Me too!” on 13th March but I am compelled write one more, as skeletons are tumbling very fast out of the cupboard!
https://panvalkarpramod.wordpress.com/2018/03/13/me-too/
Thoughts kept on coming in mind why this is happening? This movement finally and fortunately has reached our shores and I seriously hope it hits India like a typhoon! What the hell is wrong with men? Who the hell do they think they are? What is wrong with this set of people? Just because you are running a show, you are running an organization, you are producing a movie does it give you power to demand “favours” from ladies? The first question the chauvinists ask is why these ladies kept shut? Why did they not say anything for 10 years? I think for murders, there are no statutes or time barring! Murder case can be opened up whenever evidence is found. Similarly, there should be no statutes for sexual favour cases.
When these events happen, first and the foremost reaction of the lady is to hide her face, ensure that nobody knows about it. She assumes that if they talk of “casting couch” (it could be an office sofa or a hotel bedroom too!) others in the society will blame her as if it is her fault, some may say that it because the way she dresses, some may say, without shame, “chalu ladki hai”! So, this was bound to happen at some time. Why such things are called casting couch? Why not a rape? What is the difference between the two events? Or does rape mean sexual intercourse under physical force? When a woman is touched or looked at in a manner which is uncomfortable to her, it should be rape. These events can become difficult to prove in the court of law, but methods must be found how to handle these events and how the perpetrators can be punished!
As we all know, only the women have the ability to bear children. Hence, they are afraid from olden times of these events that could lead to pregnancy! So, they are brought up in such a way to avoid situations leading to an “attack”! Every time, it may not be a vicious bodily attack, but such attacks are vicious on their psyche. Tanushree Datta finally found the courage to say that Nana Patekar “attacked’ her ten years back. The expected reactions started pouring in! Nana, of course, rejected it outright. Sent a legal notice to Tanushree. Industry veterans were split on the basis of sex. Most of the ladies, including leading ladies, said the right things ! Our Bollywood icon, superhero, big daddy Mr Amitabh Bacchan’s statement was the most touching one. When he was asked his opinion about the incident, he said, “My name is neither Tanushree nor Patekar! How can I comment?” So apt, so heart touching! With such leaders to support wholeheartedly, the industry does not need enemies! Mr Bhacchan could have easily said that if the incident has taken place, then it is deplorable or some such thing! But business comes first! What if he and Nana have a film together? His chances of doing a film with Tanushree are remote! Shakti Kapoor made some stupid statement on the issue but you don’t have any better expectations from him.
When rapes are being discussed there is always a discussion done that Adivasis live in jungles, they hardly wear any clothes but we don’t hear about cases of rape. How is that happening? I think that when all of us were Adivasis wearing a loincloth, thousands of years back, nudity was not a big deal! Later on things started changing, ownership concepts came in, then couples started staying together, then marriages became the norm. Now again live in has become fashionable is a different issue. Society became more advanced, developed and started dressing conservatively hiding nudity. With this came the concepts of voyeurism and so on. Woman’s body again became an item to be owned or to be robbed, if required. Along with changes in civilization, writing and written words, printing developed. Poets and writers started writing poems and praising woman’s body with special focus on breasts and buttocks! (When porn industry started is difficult to say.) Now, these body part were exposed only in real privacy! This led to sadists raping even the kids or very old women and others created “casting couch”!
There are laws, rules and norms in the civilized world. These prevent perverts from uncivilized actions. But there is a small % of people who are the worst of the beasts! Some are wild and most are not so wild. The horrible case of Nirbhaya, in Delhi created shock waves in our nation and the world over. Stronger laws were made but it appears that those are not enough. It looks like they are still not as useful as the time taken by legal process is too long. Now, these casting couch types of cases are coming out because finally, the ladies have started becoming bold. We need to have a set of rules and laws or need to create a framework and take them through the fast track route. The police need to be trained to handle these cases, and know the difference in rapes and such cases. There are no black and white colours in such situations, they are mostly grey of different shades.
I read about Chetan Bhagat the author. Chetan Bhagat has publicly apologized after an unnamed woman blew the whistle on him on a WhatsApp thread on sexual harassment. The thread, which comes in the wake of a #MeToo movement in the country, has various women speaking up about the harassment they faced from various public figures. ( But it is not restricted only to public figures) In a couple of screenshots of a WhatsApp chat with Chetan Bhagat, which the woman shared, the author has written that he was trying to “woo” her. The woman, clearly uncomfortable, indicated her disinterest and pointed out that he was married. In his Facebook message posted yesterday, Chetan Bhagat admitted that he indeed had such a conversation and apologized to the woman as well as his wife Anusha Bhagat. He also wrote that he was writing the message after discussing the matter with his wife. He said,” The screenshots, are of course real, and I am sorry if you felt they were wrong I hope you will accept my apology.”
This my friends is a tricky situation and there can be many such situations. He has publicly accepted his error of judgment, there was nothing physical in the act. He seemed to be attracted to her persona. But on rebuff from the lady, he immediately stepped back. (Of course he did not report this to his wife, when this happened a few years back) He has publicly apologized and if the lady accepts his version or even if she does not accept his version, how this case should be handled? Physical attraction between males and females is nothing new and it has been crossing the marriage boundaries quite often. If both are consenting adults, how to treat such scenarios? Till last month adultery was an offense where the male could be arrested but now it is not so! In the situation like that of Chetan Bhagat what to do? He has not even crossed the so-called boundary in the relationship.
In today’s scenario, where millions of males and females are working together, such situations are going to be there. I am giving you my impulsive opinion but I have not given a deep thought. To me, if a person in authority, it could be male or female, takes advantage of the position and expects to get the sexual benefit as a Quid, Pro, Quo then it is wrong. But if they are colleagues and they enter into a consenting relationship with or without sexual intercourse, it should be treated otherwise. Yes, some conflict of interest situations may come up but the relationship should not start as Quid, Pro, Quo arrangement.
Taking disadvantage of ones position to gain sexual favours has been an old virus which was always active. Only thing is that its reporting was not there out of fear or desperation. Let this movement of reporting spread like wild fire! Let the skeletons tumble out of the cupboards, let the masks be torn! It is the responsibility of the modern society to correct the wrong, that has put us all to shame the way we have treated our women folk. It is easy to do it! If we all remember a simple a truth that each human has come out of the womb of a mother, as a result of sexual intercourse. When done with consent, this activity is the nature’s gift to the human race! Let us not behave like animals! Oh, I am sorry! (Don’t always misbehave like humans) I am sure there are rules in the animal kingdom that animals always follow! Animals eat only when they are hungry, they do sex only when it is their mating season and that too when both want it, always with consent! Let us be animals!
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