Conditions Apply, really!

Conditions apply is a term used while advertising things. Hence some advertisers specifically write, “No conditions apply.” Conditions Apply is a commercial way of saying, “Take it with a pinch of salt.” When I was in school, there used to be an advertisement for a radio set. It would say, “Listen to any station in the world”! The cost of the set would be less than Rs.100/. I asked someone how it is possible? Not that I was an expert in this, but I felt that there was something wrong. That person showed the small print in the advertisement. It said, “When you are at that place”! Small print! Now you know what I mean. That was a radio set that could capture Medium Wave stations when you were at that place.

Does this happen in commercial space only, or it happens in our lives too? Yes, and no, both are the real answers, because life is never defined in Black & White or 1 & 0. There is always grey shade in all facets of life. The love we get from parents, the love we get from kids, the pets, these are all with “No conditions apply.” It happens in the case of close childhood friends too. But ultimately everything in this world follows a Marathi idiom दिसत तसं नसतं म्हणून सारं जग फसत which means that the world is not as we see it or as it appears to us! Or “The grass is always greener on the other side!”

Jackfruit, Coconut is typical real-life examples; they are both rough & tough from outside, but when we get through the top layer, inside is sweet, tasty, and coconut water is pleasing. “The customer is the king” is supposedly today’s motto. Today I read an article by an expat professional White caucasian American lady. She has been living in Pune for the last couple of years. She has openly talked about discrimination that happens the world over, including the US! On the surface, we don’t see it. She said that you might think that there is no discrimination in the US, but the skin color does play a big part.

She shared a story about an incident in Pune. She and kids were in a departmental store. There was another couple where the lady was Caucasian, but her kids had dark skin (mixed marriage). While a service assistant was stocking some bottles on a shelf, she dropped a bottle. She went and told her manager that the dark-skinned kids broke it. He came and told their mother that he would charge her. She was surprised! Our expat friend had seen the incident; she knew the manager, and he was the nice guy. But that day she saw the real side of the person. She insisted on showing the video, and the truth came out! The service assistant was the culprit. The manager did not even apologize! Real world!

When we go to foreign countries, we see huge Indian diaspora first, second, and maybe even third-generation variety. They merge quite well with the local society in behavior, dress sense, and discipline. But when some of them come back to Bharat Desh, they are back to their “normal” selves. One of my classmates who lives in Sydney, Australia, has a young desi neighbor, CA, by training. The young man once told my friend that he was going on a holiday and looked ecstatic. My friend asked him if there was any specific occasion! The young man said, “ I am looking forward to the moment I land in Delhi. I am going to drive the car. I want to break traffic signals at least 30-40 times! I am feeling claustrophobic in Sydney!” Will his Australian colleagues be able to recognize him when he is in India?

What could be the reason for such two faceted behavior? Is it how we grow up in our young phase? Does the changed environment not have any effect good or bad? Do humans normally behave this way? Is the growth phase so important in life? It is said that the human brain grows 90% in the first five years! Maybe the behavior pattern gets etched in the DNA by that time.

There was an interesting study shared in Readers Digest. They selected about ten cities each in various countries in the world in all the continents. These were from tiny villages to towns to cities to metropolises. They kept wallets in public places as if somebody had dropped them. Wallets had personal identifications, family photos, and tidbits to make them look genuine. Wallets also had money equivalent to US $ 100/ in each wallet, in local currency. There were interesting findings. All the events were captured on video cameras kept at strategic locations for study purposes. 90 to 95 % of wallets were returned to authorities in villages. This % started reducing as the population of the place started increasing and was the worst in metropolises, 40/45 %. They concluded that the integrity reduced maybe due to anonymity that humans get in metropolises. This pattern was the same in all continents, across the races! I am quite sure all the persons who kept wallets with themselves, were reasonably normal, but the circumstances changed them.

We have read from olden times about gurus, mullahs and priests taking advantage of the faith people keep in them. We read horror stories about such people who sexually exploit women’s followers. God’s people and exploitation? Things are not as they look. I have known of people who will always have tika on their forehead, perform Pooja daily for a couple of hours but are corrupt in professional lives. How can we explain their behavior? Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde? We know of doctors who perform illegal tests like sex determination of fetus and on the side are known to be great social workers! A “well-known” industrialist manufactured Gutka in huge quantities in a very modern factory. He never displayed an easily visible board of his unit. Minted money, though, he knew that Gutka causes cancer. He used to donate huge money fora medical cause, opened a cancer treatment hospital. Some people sarcastically would call it his “customer complaint center” to handle the side effects of his premium product, Gutka!

A well-established builder has a similar story. His was a typical rag to riches story and was included in the curriculum in commerce college courses. This story was written by a famous management guru. A couple of years back, news started trickling in about his cheating in business. He and his family were arrested last year and are in jail. He has ditched thousands of retirees by taking money from them, in the form of fixed deposit and not returning it. He cannot, as his companies which took the money are bankrupt. The family has hidden treasure, which police are trying to locate. Of course, one of his sons lives a condo where he pays Rs.4/ lacs per month rent! Doyen of the industry!

Are we all this way? Are we waiting for an opportunity to cheat arise? Do we all make a show of how good you are, what a philanthropist you are? I was thinking to myself. Have I ever cheated in the ways explained above, knowingly or purposely? At least I don’t remember doing it. I asked another friend of mine the same question, and he also said the same thing. But we have a common friend who was in government service. He must have retired 10 to 12 years back. I know what the salaries were and what the pension is. But he spends money all the time as if the world is going to end tomorrow. We knew that he was one of the most corrupt officials. But to others who don’t know him well, he is a god-fearing human being, very pious in life.

I always wonder about such people. There are only two ledgers in this world that every individual has to match. One is your ledger, which you have to match every night before sleeping, and the other is when you meet Him! There is a solution. If you find that your ledger on the earth does not match every night (obviously you can’t sleep well!), Amend your ways while you have the opportunity.  But once you take the final journey and meet Him, how can you mend your ways? You have a non- return valve on your way back! The choice is yours!

Retrospection!

One must always retrospect and analyze. This helps us to get good perspective and throws light on path we take in life, work, and thought process. This retrospection is  about my blogging and society in general! So here goes!

Vijay, my best critic after Jaya, told me yesterday that I am no more a blogger but a writer! For me, first and foremost is, I have tried to enjoy the love shared by all of you! Word Press gives me the statistics. When I started my journey in 2012, there were 21 visitors. In 2017 this number grew to 10500 views and in first seven months of 2018, it has reached 9500! Yes, my speed of publishing blogs has gone up but I feel that your love is increasing at a much faster pace. This puts more responsibility on me that I must continue to write the way all of you want it.

I keep on getting feedback through comments, through personal mails, on WhatsApp and by way of phone calls. Ganesh shared with me that one of my blogs was not up to the mark. I accept such comments with humility but my suggestion is please let me know where I can improve. Vijay said that sometimes there appears to be a bit of repetition. This happens when the subject is same but treatment is a little different. Like when I write on EV’s my blogs give incremental details, when I write about death and rituals additional thoughts come into picture. Like in the recent one I have suggested that we should respect the people who believe in following rituals though my views are opposite! This can sometimes cause repetition of points.

About my being a writer! Vijay, your yari puts me on a pedestal but blogger is some kind of a writer anyway. Blogs are personal views and they are conversational. I am somehow comfortable in this format. Cricket shaukin in me again makes me put some statistical data in front of you. My blogs are 1000 to 1200 words long. If we multiply by 258 blogs, I have churned out 2.6 lacs of words! Phew, I never realized that I have written so much! A friend of mine told me that there is always upside for everything. He said, “While you were writing, Jaya had peace of mind! You kept your mouth shut while writing!”

I have two bosses who help me in maintaining the quality of my writing! Shrikant Manel and Shashi Inamdar. There are of course faux pas from my side! Ever alert bosses inform me immediately and I quickly correct the errors. Errors are factual or language related. But these are simply not acceptable. Thanks, my bosses! I think now this is enough about yours truly!

Let’s move on to the retrospection of our society! In India, public places are, of course, public place. You can do whatever you feel like. The other day, I was waiting for someone at Tilak Smarak Mandir where there was a function to felicitate a renowned scientist. I was standing on the side for about half an hour, waiting to meet someone. I saw one troupe of Brass band. Every five minutes or so they would  start playing music really loudly.  The video below is for people who are not aware what a Brass Band is!

I tried to think why they were playing music at an interval. Then I realized that every time a dignitary arrived, the brass band would create a ruckus, called music. It was their way of welcoming the dignitary! After half an hour, I was almost hearing challenged! It looks like this is someone’s idea of welcome. I asked an official sitting in the office, an old man, about this. He said in surprised tone, “Oh, obviously this is to welcome our dignitaries!” (What an idiotic question, the smirk on his face told me the real meaning) With so much cacophony in our lives, do we need to add more? The program was organized by supposedly educated people.

A politician, builder cum land mafia boss abetted one of his business associates into committing suicide. Police filed a case against him but the boss simply “vanished”. How could police “find” him? Then he applied for anticipatory bail, from the lowest court and finally the Supreme court rejected his bail and asked him to surrender! While he went to surrender and was being taken to court, about 500 of his supporters assembled to  show moral support to him! I am not sure if there was a Brass Band to welcome him! Police have arrested him under the toughest possible Penal Code because of so many illegal things he has done. In our society, such people become celebrities, dignitaries and then maybe ministers! This has been happening in Bihar and UP for a long time. Should the society do something about it? Are we going to accept such people as our future leaders? Where do we go from here?

For last few weeks we see some groups of people trying to push the government for more benefits, under the garb of reservations! This is a political issue so I don’t want to make any political comment on this subject.  But there is one thing that no government can solve. Supreme court has given a decision that under no circumstance total number reserved seats for anything can exceed 50 %, and this number is already reached in all categories. But what about you and me, the common people? Are we not all the time being held at ransom?  One day milk supply is stopped, one day vegetable market is closed, another day wholesale market is closed. Do we not have right to live normal life? Some cities are forced to shut down and then the whole state is closed down. Who is government? It is you and me. It is made of people elected by you and me. Does it mean that democratic process is meaningless? Should these protests not be independent of party politics? Sometimes it looks like games played in view of forthcoming elections! Time has come for serious retrospection!

Another disturbing and dangerous trend is also seen during these protests. To push their agenda, some people have started committing suicides. We will never know why they took this drastic step. But the information that filtered says that they had financial difficulties in their lives. I can’t imagine that people become martyrs to overcome their personal difficulties. Age old question in case of suicides is what about others around you? What about your families? I am not a psychologist but I am not sure even the experts will be able to explain this phenomenon. In one incident, about 10 people tried to self immolate themselves but were somehow prevented from doing so! Such incidents bring in melancholy feeling.

Friends, all is not so bad with this world. This last one is pleasant and interesting story I read from Facebook. Two ladies from Pune-Mumbai area met on Facebook, a year and a half back. Their friendship bloomed. There is an age difference between them of about 15 years (this is my guess!). Within one year of their meeting, the older lady was detected with Cancer. Looks like it brought them even closer! They took a 15 day holiday in England together, recently. On the side they worked together and created their women’s clothing brand which is being kicked off soon! Wow, the speed with which friendship bloomed in tough times, the work done by them together in not an easy field, gives us an assurance that “All is well” in this world, like the song in the movie Three Idiots!